So… since I had my self-realization last week, triggered by pancake day (of all things)… (read the post Pancakes and Adultery HERE) I have done a lot of serious thinking and self-exploration. What I’ve realized in the last few days is that if I could have things happen exactly the way I’d want them to, it would look something like this:
Daddy would realize that as much as he cares and even loves his wife, that his marriage is one more of companionship to each other. That he is unable to be his real self with her – sexually and otherwise and he would realize that true intimacy requires that you be able to be your real self. Not only that but accepted, loved and adored for being your real self. He would decide to leave or separate from her. That he would still live in the same general area that he does now and that we’d start having more of a “real”, committed relationship. I’m not talking about us moving in together or anything like that, I mean I would hope that we would eventually want to, after we adjusted to having more of a ‘real’ relationship. I realize that things between us, wouldn’t always be perfect and that we would start discovering things about one another, that we didn’t know. We would just be able to have a ‘normal’ relationship with one another. One where we could talk to one another on the phone – whenever we felt like it. One where I could spend time with him at his house… sleep in his bed… wakeup beside him in the morning and yes – even make heart shaped pancakes with chocolate chips together. He could read me bedtime stories and he’d be there to hold me when we slept. We would grow and blossom together.
I expressed these thoughts to Daddy and asked him – is that totally unrealistic?
He said no… it wasn’t unrealistic. He told me he had a lot of thinking to do and I totally respect that. I realize that it’s not going to be as simple as a yes or no answer and that he wouldn’t be able to just decide something like that overnight. It’s a lot to think about… and there is a lot to consider.
Will write more on this in the near future.
by Al Riske
This book centers around two main characters, a 17 year old teenager named Josh and a 31 year old hairdresser named Sabrina. Josh’s life intersects with Sabrina’s when he breaks her window while trying to deliver her newspaper. He wants to make retribution for it and they end up developing a complicated but interesting relationship. The characters in the book are well developed and intriguing.
I really did enjoy this book, however I kept waiting for something MORE to happen. The plot was a little bit slow paced and I felt there could have been so much more done with it. Sabrina’s Window reminded me a little bit of the book “The Reader” by Bernhard Schlink but without the sexual scenes and focus on the romantic relationship.
Bottom line – worth reading.
About the Book – About the Author – Prizes!!!
Welcome to another exciting publishing house spotlight tour from Novel Publicity. Join us as three new titles from Luminis Books–we’re calling them the Luminis Literary Triad—tour the blogosphere in a way that just can’t be ignored. And, hey, we’ve got prizes!
About the prizes: Who doesn’t love prizes? You could win either of two $25 Amazon gift cards, an autographed copy of Sabrina’s Window by Al Riske, or an autographed copy of its tour mates, Antiphony by Chris Katsaropoulos or A River So Longby Vallie Lynn Watson. Here’s what you need to do…
- Enter the Rafflecopter contest
- Leave a comment on my blog
That’s it! One random commenter during this tour will win a $25 gift card. Visit more blogs for more chances to win–the full list of participating bloggers can be found HERE. The other $25 gift card and the 3 autographed books will be given out via Rafflecopter. You can find the contest entry form linked below or on the official Luminis Literary Triad tour page via Novel Publicity. Good luck!
About the book: On a chilly morning in Taos, New Mexico, a 17-year-old paperboy breaks the window of a 31-year-old hair stylist — an accident that marks the beginning of an instant, inexplicable bond between them. In the course of one high-desert summer, Joshua and Sabrina share confidences, intercede in each other’s love lives, go on a date that scandalizes the town, and confront questions of fidelity, desire, and the nature of love.Get Sabrina’s Window through Amazon or Barnes & Noble.
About the author: Al Riske grew up in the Pacific Northwest and has worked as a newspaper reporter, magazine editor, and ghostwriter. His short stories have appeared in Beloit Fiction Journal, Pindledyboz, Switchback, and Blue Mesa Review, where his story “Pray for Rain” won the review’s 2008 fiction prize. His second novel, Faint Promise of Rain (Luminis Books) is due out in the spring of 2015. He now lives in California with his wife, Joanne, and their dog, Bodie. Connect with Al on his website, Facebook, Twitter,or GoodReads..
Luminis Books was launched in January, 2010 by husband and wife team Tracy Richardson and Chris Katsaropoulos with a mission to publish thought-provoking literary fiction for children and adults. We publish what we love: Meaningful Books That Entertain. Our award-winning books engage and inform readers and explore a wide range of topics from love and relationships, teen sexual assault and homelessness to string theory, consciousness, and the Universal Energy Field.
Luminis Books is a proudly independent publisher located in Carmel, IN.
Learn more about Sabrina’s Wndow‘s tour mates HERE.
TO ENTER THE GIVEAWAY… CLICK THE LINK BELOW!
I was driving home from work yesterday afternoon and I was thinking about the fact that it was pancake Tuesday. I thought about how it would be so nice if Daddy and I could have made pancakes together. I started picturing it in my head… I could have added raspberries and chocolate chips to mine and Daddy could have added something Daddy-like to his. We could have poured them into heart shaped cookie cutters or moulds and just had a really simple but really sweet time together. And imagining that and thinking those thoughts made me really happy… I was literally smiling, driving along, thinking about it.
But then… it hit me like a ton of bricks. I started wondering if maybe he WAS having pancakes, just not with me. And I started thinking about all those little, domestic type of things that we don’t share together and likely never will. I started thinking about the fact that not only do we not share them together but he shares all those types of things with someone else – his wife. And as those thoughts started tumbling in, it made me feel not only jealous but sad and even a little mad.
It might sound strange but the fact that he has a wife – is not something I normally think about very much. I know the situation and have always known the situation from the very beginning but I just don’t normally think or dwell on the fact that he goes home every night and has dinner with his wife. He watches TV with her. He likely walks the dogs with her. He does all those sorts of things, those everyday type of things, with her. I know that they don’t sleep together – in both the physical sense (they have separate bedrooms) and the sexual sense and that they haven’t in many, many years. But I wonder… does he kiss her hello? Does he kiss her goodbye? Does his kiss her goodnight? Likely.
I try to tell myself – it doesn’t really matter. I wouldn’t want to be with him (or anyone) 24 hours a day, seven days a week. I tell myself that I like my alone time. I like my freedom. I like not being obligated to anyone else. I tell myself that I get all the best parts of him and his wife gets all the mundane and not so fun parts… all the hassles of everyday life with someone. She gets to pick up his laundry off the floor, clean his dirty dishes, get annoyed with toilet seats that are left up, deal with him when he is sick, all those sorts of ‘not so fun’ things. I tell myself – that when we DO get together – I have his full attention - 100 percent. Our time is limited but it’s super concentrated, quality time. I try to soothe myself with those types of thoughts and tell myself that it doesn’t really matter that he is married to someone else. But I think I’m starting to face the fact… that it does actually matter. It matters because he chooses to share the vast majority of his life, his being, with somebody else. That’s why it matters.
Last night he said that he ‘shares as much with me as he can at this time’. But in reality… he shares as much as he WANTS to share and CHOOSES to share. He chooses things to be like this. He chooses not to be with ME. He chooses to make me second best and second priority and I let him and tell myself it doesn’t really matter.
It’s confusing because we don’t treat our relationship like it’s ‘just for fun’… we treat our relationship as much more than that. I don’t think either of us really expected things to have developed between us the way that they did and now that they have – where does it leave us? It’s been almost two years ago since we started to talk to one another and it’s been about a year and half that we have been ‘dating’ and intimately involved.
As much as I don’t want to think about it and as much as I would like to convince myself once again, that it doesn’t really matter and that I should just enjoy what we DO share with one another and not worry about what we don’t… I’m not sure if I can go back into thinking that way. It hurts and it’s there – just under the surface and the more I think about it – the more I can’t pretend it doesn’t matter.
I deserve someone that is mine. I deserve someone who is willing and able to share himself with me and only me. Don’t I? Or am I throwing all the good things that we share between us out… just because I can’t have it ALL. I can’t have EVERYTHING. Am I throwing out the baby with the bathwater? Should I just appreciate the fun times we do have? Because the time we do get to spend with one another – is magical and loving and joyful. It truly is.
What do you guys think… I would love to hear readers opinions on this, especially if you have experienced something similar – no matter what side of the fence you are/were on (the wife, the mistress, the husband, the cheater, the one being cheated on)… I’m looking for no bullshit, honest, open, yet respectful opinions on the situation… those will be gratefully appreciated…
I identify with SO many of the feelings, hopes and worries that she writes about, when I was first exploring my Little side, about a year ago.
Wishing her the best of luck with her discovering her own unique way of submission. It is an awesome journey.
Originally posted on Discovering Submission:
“I think you do. But not as strongly pronounced as your others. But it’s something we should explore.”
So, here’s the thing. I’ve written previously about how I think I have some little tendencies — my penchant for sometimes acting a certain way or my likes aligning with what some might call child-like interests. In particular, I am one huge fan of sparkles, glitter, fairy tales, aegyo, and then some.
This is somewhat reinforced by the fact that most of the blogs I follow/connect with are, in fact, DD/lg in nature. While the personalities and dynamics within that sub-sector of D/s differ wildly, as within any sort of dynamic, I think it still holds true that I am intrigued by what DD/lg represents.
Before I move on, I want to state that none of this is written with any malintent or…
View original 670 more words
This is beautifully put….
Originally posted on Errant Satiety:
This is how you lose her…
“You lose her when you forget to remember the little things that mean the world to her:
the sincerity in a stranger’s voice during a trip to the grocery,
the delight of finding something lost or forgotten like a sticker from when she was five,
the selflessness of a child giving a part of his meal to another,
the scent of new books in the store,
the surprise short but honest notes she tucks in her journal and others you could only see if you look closely.
You must remember when she forgets.
You lose her when you don’t notice that she notices everything about you: your use of the proper punctuation that tells her continuation rather than finality, your silence when you’re about to ask a question but you think anything you’re about to say to her would be silly, your mindless humming when it is…
View original 234 more words
by Cynthia Davenport
MY RATING: FIVE STARS!
“Some people are so poor they have nothing but money.”
This quote certainly applies to the women in this charming anthology featuring three women who discover that wealth cannot buy them what they really desire – a strong hand willing to lend some disciplinary guidance.
Luxury Suite is a collection of three stories featuring young ladies whose judgment and self awareness are tainted by an excess of money.
In Lindy’s Luck, upright, honest girl next door Lindy Saradon seemed to have everything – a loving husband, a devoted family and a full time job. The only thing she didn’t have was a huge bankroll. When a lottery ticket turned up an unexpected win, it seemed the picture was complete.
Money has a funny way of changing people however, and deception and greed soon replaced Lindy’s solid social and family values. Had Lindy’s luck been the best thing that ever happened to her – or the worst?
Wealthy socialite Tasha Mercedes had landed a deal to host a new talk show in ‘Personally Trained’. Deciding she needed to get in shape for the upcoming taping, she hired dashing ‘Trainer to the Stars’ Nate Bronson to assist her – and then quickly neglected him and her workout responsibilities.
Would Nate be able to get through to his self indulged client, or would Tasha’s personal goals remain unfulfilled?
With Nicole Manning in ‘The Sweetest 16′, everything had to be over the top – and her daughter’s Sweet 16 party was no exception. While husband Richard was out of town, Nicole was home planning the ‘party to end all parties’. Desiring the limelight as much as her daughter, Nicole called in film crews from a reality television show to document the event – without her husband’s knowledge. Would clearer heads prevail or would Nicole’s plans for her daughter’s Sweet 16 party turn the celebration into a national spectacle?
Visit the Authors Website: www.cynthiadavenport.com
- Participate in TWO challenges.
- Leave a comment on TWO participants blogs.
- Post a review of ONE book.
- Create ONE list of ten word definitions (from current reads).
- Start reading at least ONE of the classic books from my TBR pile.
- Read for a total of EIGHT hours during Bout of Books 9.0!
- Post ONE book related picture.
Started reading a classic book from my TBR pile: Tess of the d’Urbervilles by Thomas Hardy
Time spent reading today: 1 hour 20 minutes
Total time spent reading: 1 hour 20 minutes
Time spent reading today: 1 hour
Total time spent reading: 2 hours, 20 minutes
Posted a review of Luxury Suite by Cynthia Davenport.
Time spent reading today: zero
Total time spent reading: 2 hours, 20 minutes
A LOT LIKE CHRISTMAS!
Here I am… almost ready for bed… excited for all that tomorrow brings.
Daddy will arrive around 9 a.m., coffee and toy bag in hand. I can’t wait to sink into his arms and feel that immediate protection and feeling of being safe. I always drop into feeling Little, as soon as Daddy puts his arms around me. All my worries and stress melt away. It’s like the ‘real world’ disappears while we are together. It is so freeing and relaxing being with him.
I have so many surprises to show him! I bought a Gingerbread Train Kit for us to make together, Santa hats for both of us, Christmas cookies… and lots more fun stuff.
I can’t wait for him to open his Christmas gift. It is a Daddy watch. Daddy loves watches and has many. He loves the look of Diesel watches, so keeping to tradition (I also bought him one last year), there is a Diesel watch all wrapped up, waiting for him.
I also got him a little stocking embroidered with the words “Santa, I can explain.” I thought it was fitting!
Better head to bed. I’m going to need a good night’s sleep!!!