Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Merry? Christmas…

on December 25, 2012

Merry? Christmas

This Christmas has been… um… Christmas.

I’m not going to bitch about the Christmas that I had.  I know there are a lot of people who have NO family, NO loved ones at all.  At least I have them.

Hurt has a way of coming to the surface.  Resurfacing.  Allowing my Little side to emerge… has that brought a new emotional sensitivity?  I am starting to feel again.  I have never been good with that.  Repress, repress, repress.

I wanted to cry yesterday.  I wanted to cry today.  Instead… I had a bad dream and cried while half-asleep last night.  Things to resolve?  Um… yeah.

Fresh pain… old wounds re-opened.  Is Christmas over yet?



4 responses to “Merry? Christmas…

  1. I know what you mean… I love my family. Unfortunately it’s easier on me and my feelings to live 7 hours away. Sir and I make calls and wish them all well but after I go in my room and cry……. Holidays always are this way for me. I hug my children and promise myself that I will do better. Sir looks at me and says you already have. Tomorrow you’ll wake up and the pain will be over mostly… I’m still working on this too… Merry Christmas from one hurt soul to another. Love yourself …….

  2. Basia Rose says:

    Yep – we have a particular crazy person in our family, whose goal this Christmas was apparently to insult everyone repeatedly. Completely killed the ‘Christmas spirit’, and drove more than one person to drink too much.
    I think for some relatives, seeing them even once a year is too often.

  3. writingthebody says:

    It is a famously tough time. I keep mine really sweet and small scale – only with people I really want and trust. The stuff from the past can be awful (some of mine was as well), so as the poster above me says, I know what you mean. Yes it is over. It can be beautiful, but it is only a day. Good luck, and sorry it went like that for you. Truly.

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