The Persnickety Princess Tour
I have agreed to do my very first book tour blog review! So… I will read The Persnickety Princess by Falcon Storm and give my honest opinion and post my review on March 30th. Keep an eye out for it and please let me know what you think!
A brief summary of the book:
High up in the tallest tower of the purplest castle in the Kingdom by the Sea, Princess Lavender awaits rescue. Desperate as she may be, only the most dashing, well dressed, properly mannered prince will do. Oh, and he must stand exactly four and three-quarters inches taller than her. A princess has got to have standards, after all.
When, finally, one such prince comes to her castle—not to rescue her, but her younger sister—Lavender refuses to be ignored. Instead of waiting for the next suitor to come along, she devises a plan to put herself in danger, thus forcing the upstart prince to forget her sister and rescue her instead.
Well accustomed to getting her way, there is only one thing, unfortunately, that this princess can’t control—her luck. When her plans go awry, putting her in very real danger, will she allow the prince to rescue her as he sees fit? Will he even want to try?
And will anyone be able to find a way to rescue Lavender from her persnickety ways once and for all? Find out in this comedic tale of princes, dragons, and dreams that just may come true.
PRIZES: Novel Publicity will have three standard $50 gift card prizes, but they’re also going to offer huge additional prizes to both blog tour reviewers and their readers (that would be YOU), to really make this one special.
Which means – MY readers will get a chance to win prizes! More information on what and how to enter during my upcoming post on March 30th!
The Persnickety Princess: An Excerpt
Lavender hummed a peppy tune while thinking about how she could best put herself into some sort of peril that looked, but wasn’t too, dangerous.
At once, she remembered the time last month when the Witch’s cat got itself stuck in a tree. If she could get up a tree, the prince would have no choice but to help her down. What a perfect idea! Trees grew in abundance beside the road. A tallish oak looked particularly promising….
She moseyed up to the tree and eyed it cautiously. What was the best way to climb it? She needed to be careful not to damage her dress, and obviously her hair needed to stay flawless. Upon further inspection, she found a strong branch close enough for her to climb upon with ease. Better yet, a small outcropping of rocks lay near it. If she could position herself just right, she’d be able to jump from the rocks onto the branch and into a perfectly perilous position.
With a spring to her step, she sauntered out onto the rock outcropping. Balanced as well as she could, Lavender crossed her fingers and leapt for the branch. She plummeted for a split second longer than she thought necessary and almost gave into panic when—whoomp!– she landed on the branch.
She wobbled only for an instant, but it was enough to scuff her shoe. She fumed silently. If Prince Hugo had just rescued her properly in the first place, her outfit would still be intact and she wouldn’t be risking a twisted ankle from a bad fall.
“Oh, just perfect!” Lavender proclaimed, swinging her legs beneath her. “I do hope he hurries.” Recalling what Hugo had said to her when last they met, she scoffed and muttered to herself, “Not in danger, my royal patootie!”
Her language wasn’t appropriate for a respectable princess, but she felt she could get away with it this time, seeing as no one else was around.
A few moments passed, leaving Lavender with nothing to do but to wait and grumble to herself. It took about five grumbled rants before she spied the prince and his squire riding up the road.
“Help! Help!” she cried at once. “I was chased by a vicious animal and had to take shelter in this tree. Help me, Prince Hugo. You’re my only hope.”
Hugo sat perplexed atop his stallion. “I, umm…you climbed a tree?”
Lavender huffed. “Of course I climbed a tree! There was a wild beast after me.”
“Then how did you stay so clean?” Hugo dismounted and handed his reins to Dave.
“A princess knows how to do all things in a princessly manner.” She folded her arms in a huff, which almost resulted in losing her balance.
Prince Hugo shook his head. “All right….”
“Are you going to rescue me now or what?” A foot stamp was out of the question up in the tree, so Lavender held one hand to her hip while keeping the other firmly planted on the tree’s trunk.
The branch Lavender was perched on was only about waist high. Hugo suppressed a chuckle. “You’re quite literally two feet off the ground. You can’t get down on your own?”
“I could break my legs!”
Hugo slapped a palm against his forehead and drew in a deep breath. “You can’t break your legs from a two-foot fall.”
“But I could seriously twist my ankle, which would be very dangerous if the—if the crazed animal comes back.” Lavender’s voice took on an impatient tone. “You know, I’m beginning to seriously wonder if you are, in fact, a prince—what, with the lack of rescuing going on here.”
“I assure you, princess, I am a prince.” Hugo motioned to Dave, who busily worked on tying the horses to a nearby tree. “In fact—”
Lavender interrupted him. “All right! Then hurry up and save me before that animal returns.”
Hugo narrowed his eyes and rubbed at his chin. “What kind of animal chased you up this tree?”
“You’re questioning me?” Lavender blinked in surprise.
“No, I’m just curious. What kind of animal was vicious enough to tree you, but somehow couldn’t reach you two feet off the ground?”
Lavender racked her brain for the name of a vicious animal native to these parts. An aardvark isn’t dangerous, an anteater is an aardvark, an armadillo just looks weird, a badger is… perfect
“It was a badger,” she declared with a smug smile.
“What were you muttering?”
“A badger, huh?” Hugo snorted. “What color was it?”
Lavender rolled her eyes. “Why do you care about its color? Like most badgers in the area…” She paused and made a mental note to have all the badgers in the land repainted after this misadventure. “Red! It was red.”
“A red badger?” Hugo assumed the princess was lying to him, but since he was new to the area, he couldn’t be sure whether she’d ordered all the badgers painted red in a fit of pickiness. Knowing her, she might have. So he asked, “And what about its antlers?”
Lavender had no idea whether badgers had antlers at all, but she thought it safest to provide an answer. “Oh, they were white. White antlers that almost got me, see? The horrible beast scuffed my shoe with its antlers.”
Once again, Hugo was in a pickle. Either Lavender had no idea what a badger looked like, or because she liked everything just so, she might’ve actually glued white antlers onto all of the badgers—after having them painted, of course.
Before he could formulate his next question, Lavender let out a shrill scream. “Ow! Ouch! Get away from me, you wretched beasts!”
Hugo looked up, half expecting to see red badgers with white antlers attacking Lavender.