Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Crossing that line…

on April 7, 2013

Safest Road To Hell…


I recently read an article in Reader’s Digest about how our instincts can fail us.  The article described five different ways that our natural instincts can be harmful, even lethal.  They were described as:

  1. The Domino Effect
  2. Double or Nothing
  3. Situational Blindness
  4. Bending the Map
  5. Redlining

The one that provoked the most thought for me was redlining.  Two examples to illustrate what redlining is:

  1. A scuba diver sees an interesting wreck just beyond the limit of their dive tables.
  2. A mountain climber goes beyond their turnaround time, wanting to reach the summit.

When a situation requires a safety parameter, people will be tempted to overstep it.  It is very easy for a person to think, I’ll just go over the red line a little bit.  No big deal.  Of course, very often, a little bit becomes a little bit more and then just a little bit more and eventually you realize you have gone too far but by that time, it may already be too late.  You have ‘little bitted’ your way into that danger zone, the point of no return.

That’s the danger of crossing the red line.  Once you have crossed it, there may be no other cues to remind you that you are headed in the wrong direction.  There isn’t anything calling you back to the safe side.

This got me thinking.  How often have I ‘redlined’ myself into trouble or unhealthy situations?  How often have I sworn to myself… “just a little bit” and then later on, some time down the road, I turn back around, quite startled and ask myself;  “Whoa… wait a second, how the hell did I ever end up here?”

I’m not necessarily talking about crossing physical red lines or physical safety parameters (although that has also happened) but crossing my own bottom lines, allowing my boundaries to be crossed, allowing myself to cross my moral and ethical red lines.  It is the “just a little bit” thinking that leads me into real trouble.  I should take a step back from those red lines and realize that.  I need to be aware when I am tempted to redline and recognize the true danger I put myself in, if I do ultimately decide to cross it.  Lessons learned.

Photo by Philipp Christyakov

Photo by Philipp Christyakov

Above photo credited to:  filchist on flickr.

6 responses to “Crossing that line…

  1. littlekaninchen says:

    Redlining… Very important in D/s.. To use Red, yellow, & green safe words…
    As a submissive our Doms will push ours limits. It’s kind of part of the program really.
    Very important to go over in the beginning .. Verbally or contractually … Even with us married ones to go over all your limits .. Hard and soft … Write them down and go over them frequently. They will change! Lol!
    I’m laughing because boy.. Have mind changed!
    So, great post GUL… Always good !


    • Yes – in terms of D/s – redlining takes on an entire dimension of its own!
      Boundaries are meant to be pushed… it’s exciting when they are pushed…
      I have never ever come close to having to use my safe word with my Daddy Dom.
      He reads my body, my mind… so well… and more importantly – he listens and responds accordingly.
      AND yes – boundaries and limits do change… they ARE fluid, especially in the D/s relationship.

      This post centered more on redlining in terms of the emotional side of relationships, about morals and ethics and general life stuff but not really the D/s aspects of things.
      Excellent points though.
      Bet I could write an entire new post about redlining in terms of the D/s relationship!

      As always – thank you for reading and thank you for your comments.
      It sure gets me thinking…

      • littlekaninchen says:

        I understood where you were coming from but thought I could correlate it into D/s…. I’m always thinking too! Sometimes too much! Great post and we all can draw from it! You’re inspiring!

      • For sure – redlining can be correlated into D/s!
        And – I like where your mind goes! Lol!
        I’m glad you were inspired… that is such a high compliment to receive!
        Thank you!

  2. LindaGHill says:

    Very thought provoking! I’m thinking this could actually be the ultimate guide in writing a novel. You have inspired me, thank you 😀

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