Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Waiting For Daddy…

on June 27, 2013

I was ‘talking’ with Daddy online last night… and something he said triggered some sadness in me.  He referred to our relationship as being an ‘affair’.  I know technically that IS what it is but… I don’t really think of it that way.  At least, it’s not in the forefront of my mind as such.  I just don’t really think of it like that.  When I do, it makes me sad.

I get confused sometimes about things.  Daddy is mine but at the same time he isn’t.  Do I justify things?  Rationalize things?

After we talked, I thought more about stuff and started to feel really sad and hurt.

So… I wrote an email to him, telling him how I felt confused and I asked him a bunch of questions.

I want to know… why he stays.  I want to know… the dynamic between them.  I want to know… do they have meaningful, deep conversations?  What’s it like at their house?

I’m waiting for him to jump on the computer so we can chat about things.  Part of me wants to avoid this conversation at all costs.  Part of me wants to head to bed… take some Ativan and ‘sleep it off’…  The problem is… Daddy and I are suppose to get together this Saturday.  So… I want to try to figure things out, so that we can either have a nice time together on Saturday or cancel our plans till I feel better about things.

My heart hurts.

 

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7 responses to “Waiting For Daddy…

  1. phoenixasubbie says:

    I’m sorry honey. Hugs. You do deserve a Daddy that’s all yours

  2. Oh wow… that brought tears to my eyes…

  3. LindaGHill says:

    I’m sorry you’re hurting. Phoenix is right, you do deserve better. From the little I know you it seems you have so much to give. You should have someone who appreciates you.
    *hugs*

  4. hotlilmess says:

    A daddy that is not capable of being all yours is not deserving of such a sweet little girl..Hugs.

  5. Dear Growing Up Little,
    I know this reply comes belated. I hope you were able to work everything out with “Daddy”.
    Sorry to hear your pain, I Do Wish You All The Very Best.
    Anastasia

    • Thank you Anastasia… 🙂
      That means a lot to me.
      I am feeling better about things.
      Not a lot has changed… except maybe my acceptance level.

      • I’m delighted to hear your feeling better. Sadly sometimes we need to experience painful realisations in our lives. In time the severity of the pain does diminish. Hang In There Baby 😊.
        Your Friend,
        Anastasia

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