Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

What it boils down to…

on June 27, 2013

I’m not worth it.

He’d rather stay comfortable, than be what I need him to be for me.

I will only ever be an ‘extra’ to him.

I will always come at least second… sometimes not even that.

I’m important to him but not that important.

I don’t think I deserve any better.

Why would he change things, if he gets to have all of it the way things are?

It’s me that is the one sacrificing… yet again.

I never learn.



17 responses to “What it boils down to…

  1. phoenixasubbie says:

    I love you little sister. Hang in there. I want you to be happy, whatever that means—Him or no him. We all deserve to be happy.

    I’m here if you need an ear. Phoenix

    • Thank you Phoenix. That means a lot to me.
      I got to really express myself to him last night. It was a difficult conversation but I was ready to ask some questions that had been on my back burner for a long time. I think I finally got to the point, where I was ready to ask and to hear the answers.
      He answered and I believe he was completely honest about things and about his state of mind. I will be seeing him tomorrow… so I’m sure we will have a heart to heart.
      Thanks for your support.

  2. GUL….. You’re worth sooo much more! You know it… You blogged this…
    I’m here to support you. You deserve better girl!
    Sending you hugs!
    LK πŸ‡β€

  3. hotlilmess says:

    Oh little one,you deserve to be full of smiles. Fact. ((Hugs))

  4. elletueff says:

    I needed to read this to remind myself of the way things are in my own deal. Sobering, indeed.

    • I’ve kept a lot of stuff inside… about how I feel about our ‘situation’. I have just sort of ‘not thought about it’… but… that word… ‘affair’ was used and it triggered a lot of feelings in me. I asked some questions, that I was finally ready to hear the answers to. It hurt but I’m glad I asked them. I’m seeing him tomorrow and we’ll get a chance to have a face to face, heart to heart. I question if I justify and rationalize or if it’s simply just a ‘different type of relationship’. I still don’t have a clear answer on that.
      Do you have a similar situation?

  5. My Dear Friend Growing Up Little,
    Your informative posting on book reviews, and sharing your discoveries is greatly appreciated from me. Please accept the Shine On Award, as you’re truly a Shining Star.
    Your Friend,

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