Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Swinging Lifestyle

on October 22, 2013

I’ve been reading up a little bit on the Swinger Lifestyle and I admit – I had quite a few pre-conceived ideas about what that meant.  I consider myself to be open minded to different lifestyles and have always believed that whatever two consenting adults do in their own bedroom – is their own business.  Perhaps I should adapt that philosophy a bit to; Whatever consenting adults do in the bedroom is their own business (regardless of the number of people involved!).

So what exactly is Swinging?  The Urban Dictionary defines Swinging as:

A lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple.  Swingers tend to refrain from romantic attachments with their outside partners, thus differentiating themselves from Polyamorists.  There is some overlap between the two communities, though the closeness of the comparisons are generally not acknowledged.

Swinging was often referred to as ‘wife swapping’.  However, since both couples and singles can be involved with swinging…  ‘wife swapping’ is a pretty outdated term.

Who are Swingers?

Swingers are open-minded people who simply want to explore and enjoy their sexual fantasies with other like-minded people.  There are many different levels of involvement and participation in the Swinging community.  Some Swingers have very limited encounters with very carefully selected partners, other Swingers meet on a regular basis and participate in numerous sexual encounters, with a larger selection of partners.

Venues for Swingers

So, where do all these like-minded people find one another?  There are numerous ways and places to meet other in the Swinging lifestyle.  For example:

  • Private Forums:  Individuals or groups meet up for sexual encounters.  These types of forums are usually composed of limited members, who prefer to explore with the same limited number of couples, usually over a longer period of time.
  • Couples Exploring:  This can range from a couple looking for a single person to join them in their sexual exploration.  It may be a threesome that the couple is looking for but it also may be that the couple wishes for one of the three people to watch the other two people engage in sexual activity.
  • Couples Engaged In Closed and/or Open Forums:  This is a group that is composed of selective couples and individuals who engage in active and uninhibited sex play.  It can consist of a group of intimate partners and friends who engage in swinging type activities or it could be a group of casual associations with informal type members.  The environment could be considered a ‘private party’ with intimate encounters occurring among the guests.
  • Club Scenes:  These are mostly held at commercial or public venues and are either ‘off premise venues’ or ‘on premise’ forums.  Off premise venues have a casual meet and greet type atmosphere.  On premise forums are usually private nightclubs that have exclusive memberships.  These clubs usually have amenities like:  open play areas, hot tubs, lounge areas and private party rooms.

To Discover More… click on the link to Your Guide To Swinging

Cardinal Rules of Swinging

  • Pushy Behaviour Is Not Tolerated.  Every person involved has the absolute right to reject or disregard any other partner’s moves.  No means No.  Explanations are not required, so a simple “No, thank you” must be respected in every circumstance.
  • Safe Sex.  In every encounter, singles and couples are advised to wear condoms.  Each participant is fully responsible for their own actions and their own well-being.  Be responsible.  Wrap it up!
  • Drug Free.  Unless there is a prior mutual agreement in advance between all involved parties – it is expected to be a drug free environment and experience.
  • Participants Should Be Comfortable.  Don’t allow anyone to force you to do anything you don’t wish to do.  This experience is for your enjoyment and if you feel uneasy about anything – go at your own pace.  It should be completely respected.  If for any reason, it isn’t respected – leave.
  • Partner’s Consent.  Swinging is meant for enjoyment, not for hurting others – especially your partner.  Do not engage in this type of behaviour without full consent and approval between all participants.
  • No Cheating.  Boundaries between couples should be set prior to any activity and be strictly respected.
  • No Video/Picture Taking.  It is unethical to take videos or pictures of others without their consent.  Consent is required from all participants prior to encounters.
  • No Breakups.  Arrive and leave as a couple.  Swinging should strengthen your relationship, if both individuals are consenting and set healthy, respectful boundaries between them.
  • Be Very Discreet.  Don’t kiss and tell.  What happens in the room – stays in the room.

Four Types of Swinging

  1. Soft Swinging.  This type of Swinging is when a couple maintains a “monogamous” partnership with another couple.  They are exclusively playing with each other.
  2. Bedpost Notchers.  This type of Swinger enjoys pursuing different partners.  They swing from one partner to the next.
  3. Exhibitionistic.  These Swingers enjoy having other individuals and/or couples watch them having sex.
  4. Voyeuristic.  These couples enjoy watching other couples while they’re engaged sexually.

During my exploration of this topic, I used the internet (of course) and found some great information.  One of sources, that has a lot more info on this topic,  I mentioned previously in this post:  Your Guide To Swinging

There are some great sites out there.  Although professional, modern type sites, seems to be fewer and farther apart.  Here is one that I found during my exploration of the Swinging Lifestyle, that I thought was geared to a younger, more modern type of Swinger.

Swiing

San Francisco Swingers

What Did I Learn?

After a bit more research, I don’t know if the Swinging Lifestyle is for me or not.  But… I must admit the exhibitionistic type of swinging is the type that appeals to me the most.

The thought of a male individual watching my Daddy do whatever he wants to me, does intrigue me.  For that other male, to be unable to touch me, without my Daddy Dom’s permission and giving that amount of control over to my DD… there is a certain amount of fantasy in that for me.

Will I ever go there?  I’m not sure.  For now, it’s a fantasy.  But… it never hurts to learn more about things and to keep an open mind to different possibilities.

I’d love to hear back about what YOU think!  Have you ever considered the Swinging lifestyle?  Have you already experienced it?  OR… do you have issues with it?  I’d love to know how you feel about it.  So please, comment below!

 

 


4 responses to “Swinging Lifestyle

  1. Dear Growing Up Little,
    I believe what is most vital is that your relationship has a strong foundation. Their is open communication between yourself and your partner. And their is mutual respect for one another.
    With that said, I can share with you that many years ago we did “swing”. This was in a private home, and I must admit we had a great time. This is much different from “Polyamory”.

  2. I agree – Polyamory is it’s own category for sure!
    There are HUGE differences between the two groups but a lot of people don’t understand what those are. I’m happy to hear that you had a positive swinging experience. For now – mine is just a fantasy but… I’m always looking to expand my horizons! LOL
    Thanks for commenting!

  3. Sharky says:

    Growing Up Little

    I have known a swinging couple for some years now and I have been to one or two of their parties but have never participated. This is my introduction to the Lifestyle and I have to say that it has me a bit intrigued….or should I say, (many) fantasies. From what I have seen, I have seen couples with astonishing strong relationships with their partners that is built on the premise of trust and respect. I believe this lifestyle only makes their trust and respect for each other only stronger, contrary to many opinions that I have read. That is not to say that it doesn’t happen from time to time, that couples get a bit of jealousy rage. I only hope that in the future that my future wife and I decided to one day try a little swinging or soft swapping with another couple will only make us stronger.

    Sharky

    • Yes… I think when it ‘works’ for couples… it really works.
      I also think, that any couple that is on difficult or shaky ground to begin with – attempting to enter into the swinging lifestyle can be devastating. The straw that broke the camels back, so to speak.

      I do find the entire thing very intriguing for sure.

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