Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Daddy Doms and Littles, Some Basics

I was approached by someone kind of new to the entire Daddy Dom and Little thing, asking me some questions that I think ALOT of people have.  So… I want to share with you guys, some of what I wrote.

Disclaimer:  I’m not an expert on the DD/lg dynamic and I certainly don’t claim to be.  I don’t think anybody has the right to claim to be an expert on it (regardless of their years of experience in the lifestyle).  I’m simply expressing my own experiences and thoughts.

It is difficult to find good information online about the DD/lg dynamic.

The important thing to remember is that the information that you do find… there is no right or wrong and there is certainly no rule book out there, so please don’t let anyone tell you there is.

It’s like any other relationship… whatever happens between two consenting adults, is what happens.  What those two people deem is right for them… guess what?  It IS!  The word two is underlined for a really good reason – it isn’t about what is right for just the Dom, it’s about what is right for both of you and the two of you decide what that is.

Saying that… there certainly are common things that happen within the DD/lg dynamic but nobody should tell you… ‘you have to do this’… or ‘He has to do that’ or ‘this is the way it has to be’.

You’ll develop your own unique dynamic between the two of you.  No two relationships are exactly the same (thank goodness)!

You might try things you like, you might try things you don’t like.

It’s a changing, adapting, self-adjusting thing.

 

How do you know if He knows what He is doing?

Some good things to think about:

  1. Is He experienced with the lifestyle and if so, what did his last relationship look like?  How did it end?  The best predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour.
  2. Does He try to tell you… it ‘has to be’ this way… or it ‘has to be’ that way?  If so… big red flag.
  3. Daddy Doms tend to be very nurturing and they often Dominate in a gentler way than your “typical” Dominant.
  4. Does he set a good example in his own life?  Is he in control of his own emotions?  If a Dom can’t control his OWN emotions and his OWN life… what makes you think he should have any business in controlling YOU?  A Daddy Dom should be a good example.  He should be someone who lives his life in a way that you can look up to.  How could you possibly trust him and place yourself, your safety and your well-being in his hands… if he can’t even control himself and his own life?
  5. Daddy Doms aren’t perfect and they shouldn’t pretend to be.  If He claims to be the ‘master’ Daddy Dom – believe me, he isn’t.
  6. What is his motivation?  My Daddy Dom helps me – be me.  He encourages me and helps me constructively.  Daddy does what is best for me.  He always puts my best interests – first.
  7. Do you trust him?  If you don’t – big red flag – rethink putting yourself in his hands.
  8. Can you talk openly and honestly with him?  When you do talk with him, do you truly feel heard?  Healthy communication in a DD/lg relationship is essential.  I believe that having healthy communication in a BDSM relationship is even MORE important than in a ‘regular’ relationship.
  9. Respect is earned, not demanded.  I respect, admire and worship my Daddy because I look up to him, I feel respected by him, I trust him and I adore him.  I could never ‘worship’ someone, who tried to demand ‘worship’ from me.

 

What sorts of rights does a Little have?

Everything you do with your Daddy Dom… should absolutely be 100% consensual.  If it isn’t… it’s abuse.

There are Daddy Dom’s out there… that abuse women, under the guise of being a Dominant.  ‘Newbies’ are particularly vulnerable and guess what?  These abusers and rapists know it and they specifically prey on them.  It’s important to be aware of that.  Many women have been seriously hurt… physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually by abusers and rapists that claim to be Doms.

Pay attention to your intuition.  Go with your gut.

My Daddy Dom ‘reads me’.  He pays close attention to everything I do.  The way I’m reacting to him… the way I’m breathing, the way I’m moving… if I’m tensing up… if I’m relaxed… the look in my eyes… my body language… all of those things.  He knows me.  That’s a Daddy Dom’s job – to know his Little.  If a Daddy Dom isn’t paying attention like that… big red flag.

You should have a safe word and even a safe signal because a Little can get so deeply into the subzone… that they become non-verbal… unable to even say the safe word.  HE should be the one insisting you have a safe word.  After all… your Daddy Dom is responsible for your well-being and safety during ‘play’… if he isn’t concerned about you having a way to show or tell him that you REALLY mean NO… again – big red flag.

I’ve been with my Daddy for about a year and a half… I have never even come close to feeling the need to use my safe word with him.  Hopefully that will be your experience too.

 

Ultimately… whatever happens between the two of you… should be for your enjoyment (even if that enjoyment is pain!).  The things you do with him and the way you interact with him… should be a positive experience.  It should feel good.  If it doesn’t… there’s a problem.  Don’t ignore it.  Listen to what your heart and gut is saying.

 

Something I would really recommend.. join FetLife.  They have groups specifically for Littles, Daddy Doms and the DD/lg dynamic… (as well as a ton of other BDSM related ‘labels’).  These groups post and discuss common issues… common problems… common concerns that come up.  You can ‘meet’ others and talk with others online (if you want to), that share similar interests and you’ll learn a lot from them.  Again… get a wide range of perspectives… no one person is ‘RIGHT’ or doing things the ‘RIGHT’ way.  Reaching out to others in that way… I believe is important.  Your Daddy Dom… shouldn’t be your only link and communication when it comes to things.  He should be encouraging you to reach out to others.  Again… if he doesn’t, big red flag.  I would really encourage you to talk not only to those in a DD/lg relationship but talk to other ‘newbies’ too!  I love talking about the dynamic and I find that some of the greatest stuff comes from talking with others about their experiences, perspectives and opinions.

Oh and just a note… FetLife is free.  There is a section (pictures, videos etc) that if you want to have a ton of access to… you do need to pay for but the site is awesome even if you decide you don’t want to pay a cent.  You can join all the groups you want… set up a profile… post stuff… message people… all that is free.

 

A lot of what BDSM is about… is in your head.  I truly believe that the vast majority of those into BDSM are what I refer to as ‘real thinkers’.  It’s a lot about what’s going on in your mind… way more than what is simply happening with your body.

Welcome to the journey!

 

 

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Jodi Arias complains about her lawyer???

Wow… the girl has nerve.

Jodi Arias submitted a handwritten, 15 page motion to the court, explaining why she wants to fire her lawyer, Kirk Nurmi (who I might add, is paid for by the tax payers!).  Talk about ungrateful.  Considering the circumstances and evidence in her case – I’m surprised that either lawyer was even ABLE to keep a straight face presenting her argument to the court.

Smug, ungrateful, entitled bitch... aka Jodi Arias

Smug, ungrateful, entitled bitch… aka Jodi Arias

Reading through the motion… I had several jaw dropping moments… shocked at the nerve she has… for example:

  • At the beginning of the 15 page motion, she complains that she has not spoken, seen, nor had any communication with Kirk Nurmi since May 23, 2013.  It’s not until the end of the motion that she mention it is HER that is refusing to see HIM.  He has attempted to visit her twice since May and she has refused his visit both times.  So… whose fault is THAT Jodi?  Are you just too busy in jail?  Perhaps starting that recycling project?  Or maybe you were busy teaching other inmates Spanish in order to make time for a visit from your lawyer, who you complain doesn’t communicate with you?  Last time I checked… communication takes two people.  Just saying.
  • She states that it is the attorney’s duty to “maintain close contact with the client” but I can only imagine the ‘service’ that Jodi expected to receive.  He DOES have other clients Jodi… and his world does NOT revolve around you… like you expect it to.
Everyone deserves a defense (yes, even her)... but for her to complain about the representation she received?  Ignorant.

Everyone deserves a defense (yes, even her)… but for her to complain about the representation she received? Ignorant.

  • She complains that his secretary was instructed to hang up on her if she called and he was not in the office.  I would be curious to know how many times she was calling his office – I have a sneaking suspicion that it may have been incredibly excessive.  Each of those phone calls would be charged to the people footing her legal bill… the tax payers… but what would she care.  She’s not footing the legal bill for the crime she committed.
  • She complains that Kirk didn’t track down leads she provided for her case.  I can only imagine the goose chases she had sent him on!  I read that as:  Kirk didn’t fall for all her crazy lies.
  • She complains she can’t trust Kirk.  Um… what kind of irony is that??!!!   LMFAO!
  • Here’s a quote from the motion that shows just how out of touch Jodi truly is:  Kirk Nurmi has little to no tolerance for my emotional and psychological shortcomings.  I hate to break it to her but… MOST PEOPLE WOULDN’T!
  • She complains that Kirk doesn’t remember things and she thinks he might have a ‘selective memory’.  I wonder if Kirk has ever butchered another human being by stabbing him, slitting his throat from ear to ear and then shooting him in the head and then forgot THAT!  Whose memory is selective Jodi?
Awww... Jodi isn't happy... Poor Jodi... NOT.

Awww… Jodi isn’t happy… Poor Jodi… NOT.

I could go on… but the more I write, the angrier I get… knowing that MILLIONS of dollars will be spent for her legal defense and she is such an ungrateful and entitled bitch.

If you want to see the handwritten motion and read it yourself… the entire document can be found HERE.

What do you guys think?

6 Comments »

My Inner Moral Compass

Tonight, a reader left a comment on one of my posts and mentioned deeds that may be interpreted as ‘unethical’ and it really got me thinking.

I use to care a lot more than I do now, about what society deems ‘ethical’.

Doing that places a significant amount of power in the hands of a society, that I myself deem is currently unhealthy, dangerous and demoralizing.  Realizing this… it makes it easier… to allow myself to be steered by my own inner moral compass.

The result?

Inner freedom and the possibility of increased moments of true happiness and an increased sense of life’s meaning.

What could be more valuable than that?

Moral compassTo thine own self be true.

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Jodi Arias – What a C*nt!

Okay – it takes a lot for me to use the ‘C’ word… and technically I’m not using it because of that little * but…  Jodi Arias – What a Cunt!

Oops… forgot to use the star *!  My bad!

She 'looks' so fucking normal!

She ‘looks’ so fucking normal!

I have been following the Jodi Arias trial… I have a DVR… so I can actually not miss any testimony and I admit… I have missed very little of it.  At first I watched the ‘Nancy Grace’ and ‘Jane Velez-Mitchell’ type shows but I gave those up after a while.  For two reasons… one I couldn’t keep up (I swear I DO have a life!)  AND I was finding that the information they were sometimes ‘reporting’ wasn’t exactly accurate and that bothered me.  I didn’t want the wrong info… I wanted it as first hand as possible.

Tonight, I went on an internet site that had a copy of court documents that Jodi’s lawyers filed back in 2011 (way before the trial).  This document shows that Jodi wanted to plead guilty to second degree murder and when the State ignored her offer… Jodi then mailed the State a letter, reminding the State of all the collateral damage that would be caused if this case went to trial.  She claimed marriages would be affected because of Travis Alexander’s relations with other women, standings in the religious communities would be affected, personal friendships would be affected and most of all the very poignant and cherished memories of Mr. Alexander would be tarnished.

Travis as a little boy.

Travis as a little boy.

I am SO pleased to learn that the State wrote her BACK a letter and advised HER that resolving this case via a plea to second degree murder was not possible and they didn’t come back with ANY proposals or counter-offers at all.  Looks like that was a big FUCK YOU to Jodi!!!  

They were going for first degree and they were going for the death penalty.

Wonder if she'll be so smug at the end of the trial?

Wonder if she’ll be so smug at the end of the trial?

It really became clear to me… reading that court document, that Jodi was holding his family hostage, after she brutally murdered their brother.  She was threatening to tarnish Travis Alexander publicly (even to the point of claiming he was a pedophile, of which there is not a single shred of evidence) and others surrounding him as well.  Now… I’m NOT saying that Travis Alexander was a Saint in all this… he wasn’t.  Did he treat Jodi like a whore?  Yes.  Did he use her for sex?  Yes.  Did he realize he was dealing with a person who wasn’t playing with a full deck of cards but continued to play with her anyway?  I think so.  But did he deserve to be slaughtered by Jodi for it?  Did he deserve Jodi planning and manipulating before, during and after his savage murder?  Absolutely not.

The family of Travis Alexander… those two sisters, the brother, the brother-in-law, they all deserve MEDALS.  I can NOT even imagine the emotional torment and stress that not only his death by murder caused them but all the emotional harm they have suffered from Jodi Arias AFTER she killed him.  It is beyond disgusting.  Talk about having no remorse.  I don’t know if I would have enough strength to sit in that courtroom and listen to what they have had to… day after day after day.

Alexander Family in court

There is a site… I will post a link… that people can donate money to the family of Travis Alexander.  They have travelled from their own homes, staying in hotels, not been able to work during this entire process.  They are obviously having an intense amount of financial strain.  It should also be noted, that it was NOT the family that requested this fund be set up.  It was someone who knew the financial hardships they are occurring and knew that people would gladly donate money to help this family out.  (Travis Alexander Legacy Fund)

While his family suffers yet again… Jodi sits there with her paid for by the tax payers defense lawyers (note the multiple on the word lawyer) and is housed and fed, all courtesy of the State.  This while Jodi sells her ‘artwork’ for thousands of dollars.  I wonder if she realizes (or even cares) that the people who are buying her artwork… are buying it hoping the value of their ‘investment’ will go up when they DO eventually convict her and put her to death.

I have donated to the Travis Alexander Legacy Fund because I have watched this trial and I have seen the siblings of Travis Alexander and how THEY have suffered… how they have listened to Jodi Arias ‘explain’ for her 18 days on the witness stand, how she was ‘abused’ by Travis and her story of self-defense (with the 9 stab wounds in his BACK, a total of 29 total stab wounds, a slashed throat and a gun shot to the head).  She only remembers the gunshot wound though… cause ‘the fog rolled in’ after that.  She can’t remember stabbing him… or any of that.

From Support Travis Alexander's Family Facebook page.

From Support Travis Alexander’s Family Facebook page.

The medical examiner has testified that there was no medical science he knew of that Travis could have suffered that gunshot wound to the head FIRST, like Jodi claims.  He would have been incapacitated.  Jodi claims that the gunshot wound ‘made him mad’ and he said ‘Fucking going to kill you BITCH’ and that’s when the memories stopped for Jodi.  This of course, gave her the “out” of having to explain ALL the other injuries that happened and HOW they happened.  Where was the knife?  Must have been pretty damn handy… cause Travis went from standing up in the shower looking pretty damn fine to bleeding and in all likelihood dead – all within 62 seconds, as the photos show.

So… after seeing that court document, I felt I had to rant about the whole thing.

Please consider donating to the Travis Alexander Legacy Fund and reblogging this to spread the word.

Wishing peace to the family and friends of Travis Alexander.

 

5 Comments »

Death by Prescription

Death By Prescription

Drug Deaths... Chart taken from Gizmodo

Drug Deaths… Chart found on Gizmodo

 

The chart above was created by Popular Science, using data complied from the Center for Disease Control’s database.  Taking a look at the chart, it is quickly obvious that deaths related to drug overdose from Pharmaceuticals (darkest green indicating Undetermined intent, medium green indicating Intentional self-harm and light green from Unintentional self-harm).  Not only are the majority of drug overdoses caused by Pharmaceuticals but they are being caused UNINTENTIONALLY!  It is scary.

I take medication – several medications and some of those medications are quite powerful.  I combine them and admittedly I do sometimes take more than what is prescribed to me.  I also take over-the-counter medications quite regularly, putting even more drugs into the mix.

I normally don’t put a lot of thought into the fact that I could literally DIE accidentally from what I am doing.  Look at all the people in the chart above that did that exact same thingBut it won’t happen to me and it won’t happen to you either because obviously they were doing something really wrong and taking or combining way more than you or I ever would – right?

Right?

 

Drug Week

 

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Crossing that line…

Safest Road To Hell…

red-watercolor-background559

I recently read an article in Reader’s Digest about how our instincts can fail us.  The article described five different ways that our natural instincts can be harmful, even lethal.  They were described as:

  1. The Domino Effect
  2. Double or Nothing
  3. Situational Blindness
  4. Bending the Map
  5. Redlining

The one that provoked the most thought for me was redlining.  Two examples to illustrate what redlining is:

  1. A scuba diver sees an interesting wreck just beyond the limit of their dive tables.
  2. A mountain climber goes beyond their turnaround time, wanting to reach the summit.

When a situation requires a safety parameter, people will be tempted to overstep it.  It is very easy for a person to think, I’ll just go over the red line a little bit.  No big deal.  Of course, very often, a little bit becomes a little bit more and then just a little bit more and eventually you realize you have gone too far but by that time, it may already be too late.  You have ‘little bitted’ your way into that danger zone, the point of no return.

That’s the danger of crossing the red line.  Once you have crossed it, there may be no other cues to remind you that you are headed in the wrong direction.  There isn’t anything calling you back to the safe side.

This got me thinking.  How often have I ‘redlined’ myself into trouble or unhealthy situations?  How often have I sworn to myself… “just a little bit” and then later on, some time down the road, I turn back around, quite startled and ask myself;  “Whoa… wait a second, how the hell did I ever end up here?”

I’m not necessarily talking about crossing physical red lines or physical safety parameters (although that has also happened) but crossing my own bottom lines, allowing my boundaries to be crossed, allowing myself to cross my moral and ethical red lines.  It is the “just a little bit” thinking that leads me into real trouble.  I should take a step back from those red lines and realize that.  I need to be aware when I am tempted to redline and recognize the true danger I put myself in, if I do ultimately decide to cross it.  Lessons learned.

Photo by Philipp Christyakov

Photo by Philipp Christyakov

Above photo credited to:  filchist on flickr.

6 Comments »

Stranger Will – Book Review – Contest – WIN Prizes!

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One random commenter during this tour will win a $25 gift card… so please remember to leave a comment on my blog for your chance to WIN!

Additional prizes (another $25 gift card and 3 autographed books also available via Rafflecopter, more info below).

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Stranger Will

by Caleb J. Ross

StrangerWillFrontCover-662x1024-193x300

My Rating:  Five Stars *****

My Review

If I could use just a few words to attempt to describe Stranger Will, I would choose:

  • UNIQUE
  • DARK
  • PHILOSOPHICAL
  • A-MUST-READ

Stranger Will was truly one of the best books I have read, in quite some time.  I don’t re-read books very often but this is one book in which I plan to do just that.  Why? Because there are SO many layers contained within this story, so many meanings, and so many things to think more about.  A second read, would be an opportunity to pull back some additional layers… layers you can’t help but to have missed the first read through and even then… I think it is quite likely that you would still not reach the ultimate core of Stranger Will.

The author Caleb J. Ross, is definitely unique with his style, yet at the same time, his writing reminds me of other great authors such as:

  • Chuck Palahniuk (author of Fight Club, Survivor, and Choke)
  • Augusten Burroughs (author of Running With Scissors, Possible Side Effects, and Magical Thinking)
  • George Orwell (author of Animal Farm and 1984)

Caleb J. Ross has a way of telling an edgy, odd story, with a serious dark side.  He creates and brings to life, characters who you’d be afraid to know.

Stranger Will makes you think about those frustrating types of questions, those questions that don’t seem to have the black and white answers you so desperately crave for them to have.

The main character William, is an insecure, depressed and cynical character, whose job as a human remains removal specialist has contributed to his lack of enthusiasm he is exhibiting for his unborn child.  According to William…

He cleans the dead from the world and what’s one more child?  Just another body that someone will one day have to clean from the road.

and

“Just a parasite, Julie,” he takes a sip of coffee, cold but he keeps his face straight.  “Tapeworms, children, we could all use fewer of them.”

His fiancée Julie, seems to deal with William’s resistance to their fetus, which is already very well-established within her, by continuing to cross-stitch, shop for baby clothes, pick out names (one for a boy, one for a girl), sing lullabies and stay calm.  Julie clearly feels she is already a mother.  William on the other hand, continues to search for any solution in which they will not be the ones expected to give this child what little he believes that they can offer it.  Those that feel desperate for solutions, often come to their solutions in dangerous and immoral ways.

There were so many things that intrigued me about this novel, including…

  • William’s employment as a human remains removal specialist.  His job is to remove the ‘stains’ that human lives leave behind.
  • The personality contrast between William and his co-worker, Philip.   “Philip believes people deserve chances.  William believes that people are the exact reason chances don’t work.”  The dynamic between the two is riveting.
  • Mrs. Rose, the elementary school principal and the bizarre lessons she is teaching to not only her students but to many adults as well, including William.  Even more astounding, is her philosophy behind these lessons.  “Mrs. Rose has taught William many things, one of which is that the world is not worth fighting against.  The world knows what it is doing.”   and  “Mrs. Rose taught William that children are a second chance and that second chances are exactly what keep us from believing that we need only one.” 
  • Messenger pigeons and messages that are intercepted and how they can form their own story.
  • The different meaning, purpose and value that the individual characters have for life and where that ultimately brings each of them in the end.
  • The ability and need that some have to control and what that means.  How is that accomplished?  What is lost by those who are controlled?  What may be gained and what may be lost by a group that is under a method of organized control?  What is lost be the one doing the controlling?

If you are one who likes to ponder the meaning behind things – you will enjoy this book.

If you like dark, twisted, bizarre and sick characters – you will enjoy this book.

If you enjoy the writing style of Chuck Palahniuk, Augusten Burroughs or George Orwell – you will enjoy this book.

If you like a book that makes you think and then makes you think again – you will love this book.

I highly recommend Stranger Will to all adult readers.

I am very much looking forward to following Caleb  J. Ross’s writing career, for he is a noteworthy, significant and truly brilliant writer of our times. 

Some of My Favourite Quotes

William admires her will power, though he could do without her drive to use it against him.

When two strangers meet in the woods, they don’t pass by with a nod.  They don’t pretend something greater lies just ahead.  They smile at company and make room for a few words.

A body, a simple lump of blue skin, black hair, and features, sits molded to the corner.  Not a stain, not a mess, but a real human being.  Her eyes roll toward the light.  In a final stretch for good news, William turns to Philip and shrugs.  “At least most of her blood is still in her body.”

I’ve seen the desert our world has become, shredded with bullet holes in apartment buildings where nothing but filth exists.  I’ve cleaned it from walls with a toothbrush stolen from the deceased’s bathroom.  I’ve believed in a world with good intentions for too long.

“She also told William that people who use the word fascinating, usually aren’t.”

“Keep an animal locked up with nothing to do and eventually it will realize it is imprisoned.”

Though he’s known for days that these games teach survival, he sees now that these skills are not the school’s primary motive.  Where once he saw a small tiff, children being as children will be, he sees now a gang initiation, or extermination of the weak, not for survival but to prove dedication.  Where once a group of children might play rhyming games, clapping hands, smiles and chants, they now share blood via severed fingers and cut palms.

“What, I ask you, is less pleasurable to endure than permanence?”

“It might be years from now that these kids look back and realize that they’ve been controlled their entire lives, but it will happen.  They might hate me, you, and all the others, but they will understand control — they will realize their life.  It might take therapy, it might happen behind a giant oak desk in a corner office, but it will hit them, and they will have an entire childhood of proof.”

We live above defeated generations and search for all the ideas they must have missed.

William looks again, before the sun disappears, across his home, his life with Julie, and fits everything into graves.

She had been enduring his rants for months, staying strong to her familial ideal, and here was the end to what he had wanted all along:  his weak fiancée fighting up hills of dirt dug in search of her child.

…he has the power to steer outcome.  The trick is to keep anyone else from believing it.

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Please note:  I received a review copy of Stranger Will courtesy of Novel Publicity, in exchange for a written review with my honest thoughts, comments and opinions regarding this book.

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About the Book – About the Author – Prizes!!!

Welcome to Novel Publicity’s first ever publishing house blog tour. Join us as three new titles from Perfect Edge–we’re calling them the Perfect Edge Trifecta–tour the blogosphere in a way that just can’t be ignored. And, hey, we’ve got prizes!

About the book:

The child he loves. The idea of a child, he’s beginning to understand, is where everything will go wrong.

William works as a human remains removal specialist, removing stains left by the dead. Whether by a bloody crime scene or a quiet domestic death, William is reminded each day of the frailty of human life. As his fiancée, Julie, nears term with their first child William becomes increasingly desperate for a way to overcome his belief that to birth is to kill. But Mrs. Rose, an elementary school principal and messenger pigeon hobbyist, nurtures William’s depressive outlook and claims to have a way to prove that William’s hesitancy to accept fatherhood is not only natural but necessary.

In this novel of impending fatherhood, an idealistic teacher recruits a pliant protégé to join her group of Strangers – a devout collection of kindred minds who have dedicated their lives to cultivating a unique idea of perfection.

But joining is easier than leaving.

Stranger Will explores the human urge to reproduce via one man’s struggle to understand his role as a father. As Rob Roberge, author of More than They Could Chew and Working Backwards from the Worst Moment of My Life, says “This is an original—unlike anything you’ve ever read before.”

Pick up your copy of this Literary/ Psychological/ Horror through Amazon US, Amazon UK, or Barnes & Noble.

About the author:

Author Caleb J. Ross

Author Caleb J. Ross

Caleb J. Ross has a BA in English Literature and creative writing from Emporia State University. His fiction and nonfiction has appeared widely, both online and in print. He is the author of five books of fiction and is a core contributor to The BookTube Vidcast, a columnist at ManArchy Magazine, and is the creator of The Burning Books Channel, a YouTube channel featuring humorous book reviews, literary skits, writing advice, and rants. Connect with Caleb on his website, Facebook, GoodReads, or Twitter.

About the prizes:

Who doesn’t love prizes? You could win either of two $25 Amazon gift cards, an autographed copy of Stranger Will, or an autographed copy of one of its tour mates, Angel Falls by Michael Paul Gonazelz or The Sound of Loneliness by Craig Wallwork. Here’s what you need to do…

  1. Enter the Rafflecopter contest
  2. Leave a comment on my blog.

That’s it! One random commenter during this tour will win a $25 gift card. Visit more blogs for more chances to win–the full list of participating bloggers can be found here. The other $25 gift card and the 3 autographed books will be given out via Rafflecopter. You can find the contest entry form on the official Perfect Edge Trifecta tour page via Novel Publicity. Good luck!

Perfect Edge Books was founded in late 2011 to unite authors whose books weren’t “obviously” commercial. Our books tend to sit in various genres all at once: literary fiction, satire, neo-noir, sci-fi, experimental prose. We believe that literary doesn’t have to mean difficult, and that difficult doesn’t just mean pointless. We prefer to cultivate a word-of-mouth approach to marketing, and keep production as simple as we can. Learn more at www.PerfectEdgeBooks.com.

Learn more about Stranger Will‘s tour mates HERE.

 

6 Comments »

Musing Mondays – The Visible Man, Commentary

Musing Mondays – April 1st (no joke)

MusingMondays5

Musing Mondays asks you to muse about one of the following each week…

• Describe one of your reading habits. • Tell us what book(s) you recently bought for yourself or someone else, and why you chose that/those book(s). • What book are you currently desperate to get your hands on? Tell us about it!  • Tell us what you’re reading right now — what you think of it, so far; why you chose it; what you are (or, aren’t) enjoying it. • Do you have a bookish rant? Something about books or reading (or the industry) that gets your ire up? Share it with us! • Instead of the above questions, maybe you just want to ramble on about something else pertaining to books — let’s hear it, then!

Hosted By:  Should Be Reading

 

I have chosen to muse about:   

Tell us what you’re reading right now — what you think of it so far; why you chose it; what you are (or aren’t) enjoying about it.

I have almost finished reading The Visible Man by Chuck Klosterman.

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It has been an interesting read but as I am nearing the end, so very close to the very end… I am worried that I will ultimately be disappointed by it.  I am hopeful that the ending will ‘save’ this book for me and the next eleven pages will be the deciding factor!

I purchased this book from Chapters.  It was from their ‘bargain books’ section, I think I paid $7.99 (the original price, $28.99).  What sold me on it originally was the synopsis…

Austin, Texas, therapist Victoria Vick is contacted by a cryptic, unlikable man who insists his situation is unique and unfathomable.  As he slowly reveals himself, Vick becomes convinced that he suffers from a complex set of delusions:  Y___, as she refers to him, claims to be a scientist who has stolen cloaking technology from an aborted government project in order to render himself nearly invisible.  He says he uses this ability to observe random individuals within their daily lives, usually when they are alone and vulnerable.  Unsure of his motives or honesty, Vick becomes obsessed with her patient and the disclosure of his increasingly bizarre and disturbing tales.  Over time, it threatens her career, her marriage, and her own identity.

Interspersed with notes, correspondence, and transcriptions that catalog a relationship based on curiosity and fear, The Visible Man touches on all of Chuck Klosterman’s favorite themes–the consequence of culture, the influence of media, the complexity of voyeurism, and the existential contradiction of normalcy.  Is this comedy, criticism, or horror?  Not even Y___ seems to know for sure.

For me… the fact that there was a therapist as a main character, who was treating a patient for delusions and the fact that his delusions involved him being able to observe people in their daily lives, essentially being a voyeur, was enough for me to risk spending the $7.99.

I have always been fascinated about what it might be like, to have the ability to be invisible.  Imagine being able to watch and view human behaviour in its purest form.  It would be interesting to see the contrast between how a person behaves and presents oneself in public or even with one person in private and how that person actually is when they believe nobody is observing them and they are completely alone.

While the book did describe Y___’s experiences with viewing individuals without their knowledge, I still craved more.  He would sneak in to the person’s home, position himself where it would be unlikely he would be bumped into by the person he was observing (after all, he was invisible but still physically there) and he would simply watch, for varying amounts of time.  He would then, report these observations to his therapist, Vicky.  Vicky of course, does not believe he is actually making himself invisible and entering strangers homes, she believes it is a delusion, one she can of course help him with and treat.  Although, very strangely, Vicky allows Y___ to dictate the rules and boundaries of therapy in an unprofessional and ultimately unhealthy way.

I am very curious to see how this novel concludes.  It is quite possible, once I do, I will end up doing a review of the book, so be sure to check back later if you’re interested.  These last eleven pages will truly make or break this novel for me.  Time will tell!

Author:  Chuck Klosterman

Author: Chuck Klosterman

 

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The ‘Other Woman’… always the evil one?

I was browsing blogs the other day and stumbled upon a blog that belongs to a woman whose husband had an affair.  In one of her posts… the ‘other woman’ was described in a negative light.  Which got me thinking…  (disclaimer!  the thoughts below are MY thoughts that I had after reading her post, I am in no way attributing the words below as being hers…)

  • Is it truly fair that people tend to lump the ‘other woman’ into one category?
  • Is it fair to assume that the ‘other woman’ MUST be a husband stealing, awful, lying bitch?
  • Is it fair to think that once a woman becomes the ‘other woman’… she can never again be truly trusted?
  • Is it true that a woman is more responsible for having an affair than a man is (even if she is the one who is single, she is the one who didn’t betray vows made etc…) – simply because she is a woman and doesn’t tend to be led by sexual urges?
  • Do people tend to blame the ‘other woman’, more than the man?  If so, why?
  • Are there any circumstances where being the ‘other woman’ can actually improve someone else’s marriage, even though the wife may be unaware of the true reason why?
  • If a single friend of yours… revealed to you that she was having an affair with a married man – would that change your opinion of her in a negative way?

Curious minds… want to know!!!

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