Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Daddy Doms and Littles, Some Basics

I was approached by someone kind of new to the entire Daddy Dom and Little thing, asking me some questions that I think ALOT of people have.  So… I want to share with you guys, some of what I wrote.

Disclaimer:  I’m not an expert on the DD/lg dynamic and I certainly don’t claim to be.  I don’t think anybody has the right to claim to be an expert on it (regardless of their years of experience in the lifestyle).  I’m simply expressing my own experiences and thoughts.

It is difficult to find good information online about the DD/lg dynamic.

The important thing to remember is that the information that you do find… there is no right or wrong and there is certainly no rule book out there, so please don’t let anyone tell you there is.

It’s like any other relationship… whatever happens between two consenting adults, is what happens.  What those two people deem is right for them… guess what?  It IS!  The word two is underlined for a really good reason – it isn’t about what is right for just the Dom, it’s about what is right for both of you and the two of you decide what that is.

Saying that… there certainly are common things that happen within the DD/lg dynamic but nobody should tell you… ‘you have to do this’… or ‘He has to do that’ or ‘this is the way it has to be’.

You’ll develop your own unique dynamic between the two of you.  No two relationships are exactly the same (thank goodness)!

You might try things you like, you might try things you don’t like.

It’s a changing, adapting, self-adjusting thing.


How do you know if He knows what He is doing?

Some good things to think about:

  1. Is He experienced with the lifestyle and if so, what did his last relationship look like?  How did it end?  The best predictor of future behaviour, is past behaviour.
  2. Does He try to tell you… it ‘has to be’ this way… or it ‘has to be’ that way?  If so… big red flag.
  3. Daddy Doms tend to be very nurturing and they often Dominate in a gentler way than your “typical” Dominant.
  4. Does he set a good example in his own life?  Is he in control of his own emotions?  If a Dom can’t control his OWN emotions and his OWN life… what makes you think he should have any business in controlling YOU?  A Daddy Dom should be a good example.  He should be someone who lives his life in a way that you can look up to.  How could you possibly trust him and place yourself, your safety and your well-being in his hands… if he can’t even control himself and his own life?
  5. Daddy Doms aren’t perfect and they shouldn’t pretend to be.  If He claims to be the ‘master’ Daddy Dom – believe me, he isn’t.
  6. What is his motivation?  My Daddy Dom helps me – be me.  He encourages me and helps me constructively.  Daddy does what is best for me.  He always puts my best interests – first.
  7. Do you trust him?  If you don’t – big red flag – rethink putting yourself in his hands.
  8. Can you talk openly and honestly with him?  When you do talk with him, do you truly feel heard?  Healthy communication in a DD/lg relationship is essential.  I believe that having healthy communication in a BDSM relationship is even MORE important than in a ‘regular’ relationship.
  9. Respect is earned, not demanded.  I respect, admire and worship my Daddy because I look up to him, I feel respected by him, I trust him and I adore him.  I could never ‘worship’ someone, who tried to demand ‘worship’ from me.


What sorts of rights does a Little have?

Everything you do with your Daddy Dom… should absolutely be 100% consensual.  If it isn’t… it’s abuse.

There are Daddy Dom’s out there… that abuse women, under the guise of being a Dominant.  ‘Newbies’ are particularly vulnerable and guess what?  These abusers and rapists know it and they specifically prey on them.  It’s important to be aware of that.  Many women have been seriously hurt… physically, emotionally, psychologically and sexually by abusers and rapists that claim to be Doms.

Pay attention to your intuition.  Go with your gut.

My Daddy Dom ‘reads me’.  He pays close attention to everything I do.  The way I’m reacting to him… the way I’m breathing, the way I’m moving… if I’m tensing up… if I’m relaxed… the look in my eyes… my body language… all of those things.  He knows me.  That’s a Daddy Dom’s job – to know his Little.  If a Daddy Dom isn’t paying attention like that… big red flag.

You should have a safe word and even a safe signal because a Little can get so deeply into the subzone… that they become non-verbal… unable to even say the safe word.  HE should be the one insisting you have a safe word.  After all… your Daddy Dom is responsible for your well-being and safety during ‘play’… if he isn’t concerned about you having a way to show or tell him that you REALLY mean NO… again – big red flag.

I’ve been with my Daddy for about a year and a half… I have never even come close to feeling the need to use my safe word with him.  Hopefully that will be your experience too.


Ultimately… whatever happens between the two of you… should be for your enjoyment (even if that enjoyment is pain!).  The things you do with him and the way you interact with him… should be a positive experience.  It should feel good.  If it doesn’t… there’s a problem.  Don’t ignore it.  Listen to what your heart and gut is saying.


Something I would really recommend.. join FetLife.  They have groups specifically for Littles, Daddy Doms and the DD/lg dynamic… (as well as a ton of other BDSM related ‘labels’).  These groups post and discuss common issues… common problems… common concerns that come up.  You can ‘meet’ others and talk with others online (if you want to), that share similar interests and you’ll learn a lot from them.  Again… get a wide range of perspectives… no one person is ‘RIGHT’ or doing things the ‘RIGHT’ way.  Reaching out to others in that way… I believe is important.  Your Daddy Dom… shouldn’t be your only link and communication when it comes to things.  He should be encouraging you to reach out to others.  Again… if he doesn’t, big red flag.  I would really encourage you to talk not only to those in a DD/lg relationship but talk to other ‘newbies’ too!  I love talking about the dynamic and I find that some of the greatest stuff comes from talking with others about their experiences, perspectives and opinions.

Oh and just a note… FetLife is free.  There is a section (pictures, videos etc) that if you want to have a ton of access to… you do need to pay for but the site is awesome even if you decide you don’t want to pay a cent.  You can join all the groups you want… set up a profile… post stuff… message people… all that is free.


A lot of what BDSM is about… is in your head.  I truly believe that the vast majority of those into BDSM are what I refer to as ‘real thinkers’.  It’s a lot about what’s going on in your mind… way more than what is simply happening with your body.

Welcome to the journey!




Free Write Friday

This will be my first post participating with Free Write Friday which is hosted on Kellie Elmore’s Official Website.  A full description and instructions to participate with Free Write Friday can be found HERE.

Here is a small description from her blog about what Free Write Friday is all about:

free-write-friday-kellie-elmoreEach Friday I will post a quote, poem, image or thought for you to ponder. It’s time to free yourself and all of those brilliant words trying to escape your brain; without fear, without worry of criticism, without that little editor devil on your shoulder telling you it’s not good enough.


This Week’s Free Write Friday Image

FWF Prompt

This image reminds me of my relationship with my Daddy Dom.  He is the big bear, strong and protective over the one’s he loves.  There I am, my Little self, reaching out, so tiny and helpless compared to him.  So vulnerable, yet unafraid, not because he’s weak but because he is gentle.  There is an innocence in this picture.  An innocence on behalf of the child, perhaps unaware of the potential danger posed by the bear or perhaps she sees the bear, not through the eyes of fear but through the eyes of love.  I choose the second explanation.




Swinging Lifestyle

I’ve been reading up a little bit on the Swinger Lifestyle and I admit – I had quite a few pre-conceived ideas about what that meant.  I consider myself to be open minded to different lifestyles and have always believed that whatever two consenting adults do in their own bedroom – is their own business.  Perhaps I should adapt that philosophy a bit to; Whatever consenting adults do in the bedroom is their own business (regardless of the number of people involved!).

So what exactly is Swinging?  The Urban Dictionary defines Swinging as:

A lifestyle of non-monogamy where sexual relations occur outside the established couple.  Swingers tend to refrain from romantic attachments with their outside partners, thus differentiating themselves from Polyamorists.  There is some overlap between the two communities, though the closeness of the comparisons are generally not acknowledged.

Swinging was often referred to as ‘wife swapping’.  However, since both couples and singles can be involved with swinging…  ‘wife swapping’ is a pretty outdated term.

Who are Swingers?

Swingers are open-minded people who simply want to explore and enjoy their sexual fantasies with other like-minded people.  There are many different levels of involvement and participation in the Swinging community.  Some Swingers have very limited encounters with very carefully selected partners, other Swingers meet on a regular basis and participate in numerous sexual encounters, with a larger selection of partners.

Venues for Swingers

So, where do all these like-minded people find one another?  There are numerous ways and places to meet other in the Swinging lifestyle.  For example:

  • Private Forums:  Individuals or groups meet up for sexual encounters.  These types of forums are usually composed of limited members, who prefer to explore with the same limited number of couples, usually over a longer period of time.
  • Couples Exploring:  This can range from a couple looking for a single person to join them in their sexual exploration.  It may be a threesome that the couple is looking for but it also may be that the couple wishes for one of the three people to watch the other two people engage in sexual activity.
  • Couples Engaged In Closed and/or Open Forums:  This is a group that is composed of selective couples and individuals who engage in active and uninhibited sex play.  It can consist of a group of intimate partners and friends who engage in swinging type activities or it could be a group of casual associations with informal type members.  The environment could be considered a ‘private party’ with intimate encounters occurring among the guests.
  • Club Scenes:  These are mostly held at commercial or public venues and are either ‘off premise venues’ or ‘on premise’ forums.  Off premise venues have a casual meet and greet type atmosphere.  On premise forums are usually private nightclubs that have exclusive memberships.  These clubs usually have amenities like:  open play areas, hot tubs, lounge areas and private party rooms.

To Discover More… click on the link to Your Guide To Swinging

Cardinal Rules of Swinging

  • Pushy Behaviour Is Not Tolerated.  Every person involved has the absolute right to reject or disregard any other partner’s moves.  No means No.  Explanations are not required, so a simple “No, thank you” must be respected in every circumstance.
  • Safe Sex.  In every encounter, singles and couples are advised to wear condoms.  Each participant is fully responsible for their own actions and their own well-being.  Be responsible.  Wrap it up!
  • Drug Free.  Unless there is a prior mutual agreement in advance between all involved parties – it is expected to be a drug free environment and experience.
  • Participants Should Be Comfortable.  Don’t allow anyone to force you to do anything you don’t wish to do.  This experience is for your enjoyment and if you feel uneasy about anything – go at your own pace.  It should be completely respected.  If for any reason, it isn’t respected – leave.
  • Partner’s Consent.  Swinging is meant for enjoyment, not for hurting others – especially your partner.  Do not engage in this type of behaviour without full consent and approval between all participants.
  • No Cheating.  Boundaries between couples should be set prior to any activity and be strictly respected.
  • No Video/Picture Taking.  It is unethical to take videos or pictures of others without their consent.  Consent is required from all participants prior to encounters.
  • No Breakups.  Arrive and leave as a couple.  Swinging should strengthen your relationship, if both individuals are consenting and set healthy, respectful boundaries between them.
  • Be Very Discreet.  Don’t kiss and tell.  What happens in the room – stays in the room.

Four Types of Swinging

  1. Soft Swinging.  This type of Swinging is when a couple maintains a “monogamous” partnership with another couple.  They are exclusively playing with each other.
  2. Bedpost Notchers.  This type of Swinger enjoys pursuing different partners.  They swing from one partner to the next.
  3. Exhibitionistic.  These Swingers enjoy having other individuals and/or couples watch them having sex.
  4. Voyeuristic.  These couples enjoy watching other couples while they’re engaged sexually.

During my exploration of this topic, I used the internet (of course) and found some great information.  One of sources, that has a lot more info on this topic,  I mentioned previously in this post:  Your Guide To Swinging

There are some great sites out there.  Although professional, modern type sites, seems to be fewer and farther apart.  Here is one that I found during my exploration of the Swinging Lifestyle, that I thought was geared to a younger, more modern type of Swinger.


San Francisco Swingers

What Did I Learn?

After a bit more research, I don’t know if the Swinging Lifestyle is for me or not.  But… I must admit the exhibitionistic type of swinging is the type that appeals to me the most.

The thought of a male individual watching my Daddy do whatever he wants to me, does intrigue me.  For that other male, to be unable to touch me, without my Daddy Dom’s permission and giving that amount of control over to my DD… there is a certain amount of fantasy in that for me.

Will I ever go there?  I’m not sure.  For now, it’s a fantasy.  But… it never hurts to learn more about things and to keep an open mind to different possibilities.

I’d love to hear back about what YOU think!  Have you ever considered the Swinging lifestyle?  Have you already experienced it?  OR… do you have issues with it?  I’d love to know how you feel about it.  So please, comment below!




It Chooses You – Miranda July

I just finished reading this book and wanted to write about it, while the feelings are still fresh.  I sat and read the entire book in one afternoon.  I could not stop reading it.

It Chooses You CoverI stumbled upon this book and had ordered it from Amazon.  It was one of those… if you like this… you’ll love this type of marketing tactics that Amazon does.  But – I took the bait and bought the book after having read the synopsis…. which sounds intriguing and “right up my alley” (as my mother would say).

The author, Miranda July, had started reading the PennySaver, which is a classified ad type flyer, that allows people to post their items for free, as long as the item was being sold for less than $100.  As the author notes in her book, sort of like Craigslist (or Kijii) for those that haven’t entered into the world of the internet yet.  So Miranda starts looking and reading the PennySaver cover to cover and becomes curious about who the people are behind the ads in the PennySaver.  She wanted to know who the person was that was selling the “Large leather Jacket, $10?” and what that person was all about.

So Miranda called up people from the PennySaver and asked to meet with them and offered to pay them $50 to allow her to interview them.  Most turned her down but some more adventurous souls or perhaps those desperate enough to earn the $50, accepted her proposal. 

Miranda brought with her to each interview, two friends, Brigitte Sire who was the photographer and Alfred her assistant, who was there to “protect them from rape”.  Brigitte the photographer, captured the other half of the story… in pictures.  Candid type pictures of the person being interviewed, as well as their living environment, their calendars, and sometimes taking photos of the interviewees photographs, photo albums or scrapbooks.

Domingo - one of the people the author meets.  He creates collages on his wall... containing pictures of babies, pretty women, cars and images of judges... all things contained in his fantasy life.

Domingo – one of the people the author meets. He creates collages on his wall… containing pictures of babies, pretty women, cars and images of judges… all things contained in his fantasy life.

The people she meets are fascinating.  The author isn’t afraid to ask questions… but does so in a way that is gentle, compassionate and understanding toward each individual’s different set of circumstances.  I feel like her personality, lent a great deal of weight towards each of these interviewees trusting her, opening up to her and revealing their inner selves.  I found that with certain interviewees – I was left wanting more.  I wanted to know even more about the people behind the items being sold in the PennySaver, just like the author did… view yet unseen.

There is a lot more to the book, than just the interviews and photographs.  The author also asks the reader questions about how the internet is providing an alternate world, so to speak, in which people do not discover others who are different from them, in the same way anymore.  She notes the affect that the internet has had on our generations new view of what ‘reality’ is… what our ‘world’ now has become for us.  One we created. 

The book, felt like a journey and at the end of it, I found my eyes watering at the beauty of people.  The beauty of our differences, the beauty of our life’s path but also the beauty of the end of life’s path and how both meaningful and meaningless it all can be.

Highly, highly recommend this book.




Acrostic Book Poem Challenge!

Bout of Books banner

This challenge is part of Bout of Books 8.0 and the challenge has been hosted by I Read, Ergo I Write.

The instructions of the challenge are: 

– Pick a book! Any book!
– Write the title vertically on a sheet of paper.
– Next to each letter, write an adjective or a line or verse that describes the book.

So… without further ado…  here is what I came up with for my current read The Picture of Dorian Gray by Oscar Wilde, which has become one of my favourite reads of all time.


Picture of Dorian Gray Book Cover  T – Thoughts and philosophies

  H – Heavily influenced by friends,

  E –  Erode away his vulnerable soul.

  P – Posing for the

  I –  Image painted by an adoring friend,

  C –  Captured his fleeting moment of youthful innocence.

  T –  Truth is hidden

  U –  Under lock and key

  R –  Revealed by drawing back the curtain –

  E –  Evil, misdeeds, guilt, and sin.

  O –  Obsessively

  F –  Fearing others will discover the

  D –  Destruction within his Adonis exterior.

  O –  Obvious to viewers of the portrait,

  R –  Reality of who he truly has become can not be

  I –  Ignored.

  A –  Art once created by an adoring friend,

  N –  Nourished his

  G –  Guilt

  R –  Ripping

  A –  Apart more than just his treasured

  Y –  Youth but his stained soul.




Shine On Award!

I am so happy to accept the….

Shine On Award

Shine On Award

from my good blogger friend ASTRALTRAVLER.

To check out her amazing blog…

click on her name above.

As part of my acceptance of this award, I need to list SEVEN things about myself… so here we go…

  1. I consider myself to be a ‘dog person’ but I am owned by a cat.
  2. I am a ‘trial watcher’ and many people have told me, I should have been a lawyer.
  3. My favourite ice cream in the world:  bubble gum ice cream!
  4. I am a middle child.
  5. Psychopaths fascinate me.
  6. Toddlers and Tiara’s and gossip magazines are a guilty pleasure of mine.
  7. I love people who people watch.  🙂

AGAIN – thank you so much to Astraltravler – it is an honour to accept this award from you!



Leave a comment »

Journaling to Daddy

I came up with an idea and after speaking with Daddy about it – we are going to give it a try.  I realize that it is quite common for subs to keep journals for their Doms.  I thought that if I was to write in a journal when I felt that urge to express something to Daddy or share something with him, that it might take a bit of the distance and loneliness away and give me the opportunity to express some of the things that I want to share with him, things I am mulling over in my mind, or just those everyday type things that I don’t get the chance to share with him because of our situation.

My plan is to keep TWO journals.  That way when we do get together… we can ‘switch’… and he can read what I have written to him in the “in between times” and I will have the other journal to write in during that same ‘in between time’, so I will always have a journal to write in and he will always have a journal to read and we can switch them back and forth when we see each other.

It’s an experiment… so we’ll see if we find any benefit come out of it.

Does anybody else do anything similar with their Dom, sub, boyfriend, girlfriend…?  If so, I would love to hear how it works between you… why you started doing it and what you think you both get out of it.


Jodi Arias – What a C*nt!

Okay – it takes a lot for me to use the ‘C’ word… and technically I’m not using it because of that little * but…  Jodi Arias – What a Cunt!

Oops… forgot to use the star *!  My bad!

She 'looks' so fucking normal!

She ‘looks’ so fucking normal!

I have been following the Jodi Arias trial… I have a DVR… so I can actually not miss any testimony and I admit… I have missed very little of it.  At first I watched the ‘Nancy Grace’ and ‘Jane Velez-Mitchell’ type shows but I gave those up after a while.  For two reasons… one I couldn’t keep up (I swear I DO have a life!)  AND I was finding that the information they were sometimes ‘reporting’ wasn’t exactly accurate and that bothered me.  I didn’t want the wrong info… I wanted it as first hand as possible.

Tonight, I went on an internet site that had a copy of court documents that Jodi’s lawyers filed back in 2011 (way before the trial).  This document shows that Jodi wanted to plead guilty to second degree murder and when the State ignored her offer… Jodi then mailed the State a letter, reminding the State of all the collateral damage that would be caused if this case went to trial.  She claimed marriages would be affected because of Travis Alexander’s relations with other women, standings in the religious communities would be affected, personal friendships would be affected and most of all the very poignant and cherished memories of Mr. Alexander would be tarnished.

Travis as a little boy.

Travis as a little boy.

I am SO pleased to learn that the State wrote her BACK a letter and advised HER that resolving this case via a plea to second degree murder was not possible and they didn’t come back with ANY proposals or counter-offers at all.  Looks like that was a big FUCK YOU to Jodi!!!  

They were going for first degree and they were going for the death penalty.

Wonder if she'll be so smug at the end of the trial?

Wonder if she’ll be so smug at the end of the trial?

It really became clear to me… reading that court document, that Jodi was holding his family hostage, after she brutally murdered their brother.  She was threatening to tarnish Travis Alexander publicly (even to the point of claiming he was a pedophile, of which there is not a single shred of evidence) and others surrounding him as well.  Now… I’m NOT saying that Travis Alexander was a Saint in all this… he wasn’t.  Did he treat Jodi like a whore?  Yes.  Did he use her for sex?  Yes.  Did he realize he was dealing with a person who wasn’t playing with a full deck of cards but continued to play with her anyway?  I think so.  But did he deserve to be slaughtered by Jodi for it?  Did he deserve Jodi planning and manipulating before, during and after his savage murder?  Absolutely not.

The family of Travis Alexander… those two sisters, the brother, the brother-in-law, they all deserve MEDALS.  I can NOT even imagine the emotional torment and stress that not only his death by murder caused them but all the emotional harm they have suffered from Jodi Arias AFTER she killed him.  It is beyond disgusting.  Talk about having no remorse.  I don’t know if I would have enough strength to sit in that courtroom and listen to what they have had to… day after day after day.

Alexander Family in court

There is a site… I will post a link… that people can donate money to the family of Travis Alexander.  They have travelled from their own homes, staying in hotels, not been able to work during this entire process.  They are obviously having an intense amount of financial strain.  It should also be noted, that it was NOT the family that requested this fund be set up.  It was someone who knew the financial hardships they are occurring and knew that people would gladly donate money to help this family out.  (Travis Alexander Legacy Fund)

While his family suffers yet again… Jodi sits there with her paid for by the tax payers defense lawyers (note the multiple on the word lawyer) and is housed and fed, all courtesy of the State.  This while Jodi sells her ‘artwork’ for thousands of dollars.  I wonder if she realizes (or even cares) that the people who are buying her artwork… are buying it hoping the value of their ‘investment’ will go up when they DO eventually convict her and put her to death.

I have donated to the Travis Alexander Legacy Fund because I have watched this trial and I have seen the siblings of Travis Alexander and how THEY have suffered… how they have listened to Jodi Arias ‘explain’ for her 18 days on the witness stand, how she was ‘abused’ by Travis and her story of self-defense (with the 9 stab wounds in his BACK, a total of 29 total stab wounds, a slashed throat and a gun shot to the head).  She only remembers the gunshot wound though… cause ‘the fog rolled in’ after that.  She can’t remember stabbing him… or any of that.

From Support Travis Alexander's Family Facebook page.

From Support Travis Alexander’s Family Facebook page.

The medical examiner has testified that there was no medical science he knew of that Travis could have suffered that gunshot wound to the head FIRST, like Jodi claims.  He would have been incapacitated.  Jodi claims that the gunshot wound ‘made him mad’ and he said ‘Fucking going to kill you BITCH’ and that’s when the memories stopped for Jodi.  This of course, gave her the “out” of having to explain ALL the other injuries that happened and HOW they happened.  Where was the knife?  Must have been pretty damn handy… cause Travis went from standing up in the shower looking pretty damn fine to bleeding and in all likelihood dead – all within 62 seconds, as the photos show.

So… after seeing that court document, I felt I had to rant about the whole thing.

Please consider donating to the Travis Alexander Legacy Fund and reblogging this to spread the word.

Wishing peace to the family and friends of Travis Alexander.



At The Traffic Light – Candid Photography and Commentary

At The Traffic Light

Candid Photography and Commentary


Photo by Growing Up Little


Caught at the traffic light… warm in my car… drinking my coffee… every moment seeming to count.

I see him on his knees…  literally on his knees…

scrunching his hands in the yellow sleeves of his coat.

Gray hoodie doing little to block the cold and wind from his face.

The bus passes… he doesn’t have the fare.

Doesn’t matter anyway… nowhere he needs to be.  Nobody expecting him.

Nowhere for him to go.

The government building propping his body up.  It’s their way of helping.

I snap his photo… I think he sees me do it…  I feel ashamed…

Does he realize… the people that DO notice him and do nothing?

And… does that feel worse, than those people who don’t see him at all?

The light turns green.

For me.


Leave a comment »

Crossing that line…

Safest Road To Hell…


I recently read an article in Reader’s Digest about how our instincts can fail us.  The article described five different ways that our natural instincts can be harmful, even lethal.  They were described as:

  1. The Domino Effect
  2. Double or Nothing
  3. Situational Blindness
  4. Bending the Map
  5. Redlining

The one that provoked the most thought for me was redlining.  Two examples to illustrate what redlining is:

  1. A scuba diver sees an interesting wreck just beyond the limit of their dive tables.
  2. A mountain climber goes beyond their turnaround time, wanting to reach the summit.

When a situation requires a safety parameter, people will be tempted to overstep it.  It is very easy for a person to think, I’ll just go over the red line a little bit.  No big deal.  Of course, very often, a little bit becomes a little bit more and then just a little bit more and eventually you realize you have gone too far but by that time, it may already be too late.  You have ‘little bitted’ your way into that danger zone, the point of no return.

That’s the danger of crossing the red line.  Once you have crossed it, there may be no other cues to remind you that you are headed in the wrong direction.  There isn’t anything calling you back to the safe side.

This got me thinking.  How often have I ‘redlined’ myself into trouble or unhealthy situations?  How often have I sworn to myself… “just a little bit” and then later on, some time down the road, I turn back around, quite startled and ask myself;  “Whoa… wait a second, how the hell did I ever end up here?”

I’m not necessarily talking about crossing physical red lines or physical safety parameters (although that has also happened) but crossing my own bottom lines, allowing my boundaries to be crossed, allowing myself to cross my moral and ethical red lines.  It is the “just a little bit” thinking that leads me into real trouble.  I should take a step back from those red lines and realize that.  I need to be aware when I am tempted to redline and recognize the true danger I put myself in, if I do ultimately decide to cross it.  Lessons learned.

Photo by Philipp Christyakov

Photo by Philipp Christyakov

Above photo credited to:  filchist on flickr.