Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

My Week Away With My Daddy Dom

I had been a bit nervous before I left.  I was concerned about what this week away with Daniel would mean for our relationship.  It was a step for me, getting close to someone again.  Now that the week has come and gone:  I am very glad we did it.  It was like another layer to our relationship was developed.

During the time we spent together, more aspects of BDSM were explored.  Daniel bought a new cane.  Before him, I had only been spanked by one partner and that was during intercourse (the spanking was an addition, not the main event)!  I enjoy been spanked.  More than I ever thought I would.  The more he does it, the more I want it.  Longer and harder.  He has used:  his bare hands, black leather belt, a wooden hairbrush and now… the cane… the stingest of all.  I would say the cane brings the most pain in its intensity.

Twice during our week away… there were times when the spanking was so intense… I felt my self rise above the pain.  I accepted the pain and didn’t try to fight it.  It was an interesting place to be mentally.

Once during our week away, I was close to crying from being spanked.  I wish he had continued.  I want to be spanked until I cry.  We have talked about it.  I have expressed my desire to come to that point and if and when I do… I don’t want him to stop, as soon as I start crying.  I want him to continue.  It is important to me, that my tears won’t affect his actions.  He says he understands.  That’s something I really love about Daddy… I can tell him something, that to even myself seems strange and he doesn’t bat an eye.  He accepts me for who I am.  I feel like I can tell him anything.  It is the first time in my life, that I have felt this free to open up to someone.  I am who I really am with him.  That is priceless.

From the sounds of this post… all we did during our week away was spanking… SO not true!  More posts about the week to come.

100_0749Living room area of cottage.

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Comfort In Pain

Comfort in Pain

Daddy… I want you to punish me hard, really hard
and then I want you to fuck me better.
Please Daddy?
I want the pain and then
I want the pleasure that you know how to give your little girl so good.
Daddy makes it all better.  Daddy soothes it all away.
And the pain you give me…
makes the pleasure that much more intense, that much better.
I seek comfort in pain.  I find comfort in pain.
You provide that pain for me
and you are my comfort… you are my Daddy.
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Nervous

NERVOUS

I arrived at the cottage this afternoon.  It is great.  Really nice.  Last night, this morning and now – I am feeling a bit panicky.  I’ve been trying to analyze it.  It’s been awhile since I felt like this with him and this time… I don’t think it’s nerves about the BDSM… it’s nerves about the relationship.  This is our first time “going away” together…  (He doesn’t get here till tomorrow morning.)  I think it’s sort of a new stage in our relationship and I’m freaking out a bit.  How the hell did I get here?  I mean… I don’t want to sound ungrateful because he is SO good for me… he really, really is.  BUT…  I am still scared getting this close to someone and I have gotten close to him… really close.  I didn’t think I would allow myself to feel this way again about another man.  I had given up men totally for years and years.  Now there is Daniel.  Daddy.  And… sometimes… I stop and ask myself – what the fuck are you doing?

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Cottage Update…

Cottage Update

Thank you to those that kept their fingers crossed for me when they read Last Minute Scramble.

I am VERY happy to report that we ended up being able to get another cottage to rent, during that same time period and although it is almost three times the cost of the other place… it looks three times better!  It is waterfront, private beach, fire pit in front yard, huge flat screen TV, hardwood, beautiful kitchen, 2nd floor bedroom has a balcony with view of the lake, two person jacuzzi tub… the perks keep going on.  So, sometimes when things go “wrong” – they actually end up going better!

Here are a few pictures of the cottage we are going to next week:

Right on Lake Erie

 

Looking forward to chillin on that couch!

 

Fireplace!

 

Hardwood floors…

I will be sure to remember to post our own candid shots during our cottage stay too!  Look for them in a week or two!

 

 

 

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Seeing Him Tomorrow

Seeing Him Tomorrow

I am going to see Daniel, my Daddy Dom tomorrow.  It is a 2 hour drive there, a 2 hour drive back.  I get to see him for 4 hours.  Worth it to me!  I am bringing books for him to read to me.  I love when he reads to me.  It is one of my very favourite things to do with him.  He wants me to bring all my colouring stuff – I’m not sure why but he wants to see me as I colour.  Interesting.  Here are some of the books I am bringing tomorrow:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel is bringing the cane he purchased this week.  I can’t wait to feel its sting.  He won’t be actually using it on me tomorrow… he will just be showing it to me.  I can’t wait for it to leave line marks on my skin, maybe even red welts.  I will have to wait till we have some privacy at the cottage next week.  However, I did ask him to bring his knife, so we can use that tomorrow.  I asked if he would make marks on my arms with it and he agreed.  Just thinking of it, turns me on.  Him holding the knife, pressing it into my skin, trailing it along, leaving red, raised, swollen lines… proof he was there… proof that he cares for me.  That might sound weird to those who aren’t involved in BDSM but it’s how I feel and I refuse to hide how it makes me feel ever again.  I will NOT be put back in my self-imposed prison.  Perhaps I will even post pictures of the results, let you all see the beautiful marks he leaves.

I will wear a skirt, pigtails and pretty ribbons or some sort of hair clips or bows because that is the way Daddy likes it.  That is the way I like it.  It helps to make me feel little.  I love being lost in feeling little, with Daddy watching me, protecting me.  He is my tether when I get lost in my ‘little world’.  It allows me to wander, to play, to lose myself… it is a truly precious gift that Daddy gives to me.  Daddy loves watching me, protecting me.  He loves being my strength, my control, my power.  I enjoy giving it to him.  I like releasing myself to him.

I love touching him, when I am in ‘little mode’, knowing he is hard, knowing I have made him hard.  Touching him over his jeans, feeling him.  Perhaps I will worship his cock again in the back seat of my SUV.  I love having him in my mouth.  My tongue running up and down the sides of him, my tongue running under the rim of the head of him, looking up into his eyes, knowing how much it turns him on to see me, with my mouth on his cock, our eyes connect and we really ‘see’ one another.  I love taking him deep into my mouth, far back… the head of his cock touching the back of my throat, feeling him fill my mouth that way… and I know he loves it.  I love moving my hand up and down, as I suck him, taste him, lick him.  I have given head to other men… but never the way I give head to him.  The other men… I did it because they enjoyed it and I didn’t ‘mind’ doing it but it wasn’t something I would say I ‘enjoyed’ doing.  With him – I want to do it.  I want his cock in my mouth.  I want to worship him that way.  I want to feel his warmth inside my mouth.  It feels submissive, it feels good and I love doing it.

(not us!)

 

Can’t wait for tomorrow and can’t wait to share the details with you all when I return.

 

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Last Minute Scramble

Last Minute Scramble

Next week I was supposed to be spending a relaxing time away in a little cottage in a touristy beach town and Daniel was going to be able to drop in for three of the days and spend time with me.  Well, the person I was renting the cottage from, just emailed me and due to a ‘family emergency’ is now cancelling on me!  So, now I am scrambling around trying to find a cottage to rent for a week… next week.  Yeah… it’s a little bit of short notice!  I was so looking forward to spending some private, alone time with Daddy.

So… 3 a.m., I am finally giving up the search and going to bed.  Let’s hope that there are LOTS of emails waiting for me in the morning, with LOTS of choices for cottages that are even better than the original one I was going to rent!  Have I mentioned that I tend to be too optimistic for my own good at times?  Please… cross your fingers for me!  If we do end up with a nice little cottage – I will be sure to take pictures and post them… as well as share a few naughty details regarding our time together too of course!

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