Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Candid Photography – Waiting For Her

Waiting For Her

Photo by Growing Up Little

Photo by Growing Up Little

I was waiting in my car… when I noticed him…

Far up on the third floor…

Red shirt catching my eye…

He kept coming to the window… staring out… hands  on the ledge… just watching.

His view always in the same direction.

He would walk away for a few moments… perhaps 60 seconds or less… then he was back.

Same pose.  Same hands on the ledge… same view of direction….

Again, he walks away.  Moments pass… several moments.

A cat jumps up on the window sill and takes watch.

Several minutes pass.

The cat leaves but he returns.

Standing.  Watching.

Waiting for her.

She never comes.

 

 

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10 Day Challenge – Day Five

Day Five

Six things you wish you’d never done.

Okay… this is a hard one.  First of all, I believe everything happens for a reason.  So… it is hard to ‘wish’ that something I did, didn’t happen because I don’t know how that would ultimately affect the rest of my life and if that result would actually be a better thing or not.  With that said… the six things listed below are things that I would classify as ‘negative or conflicting things I have done’ that have caused me to wonder how things might have turned out, if I hadn’t done them.

  1. Married my ex-husband.
  2. Been promiscuous as a teenager.
  3. Terminated a pregnancy when I was 17.
  4. Become addicted to prescription medications.
  5. Continued to communicate with my ex-husband for as long as I did.
  6.  Not gone ahead with a restraining order against my ex-husband.

 

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Thanks for playing and remember… come back for Day Six!

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My Teen Got A Tattoo

 

Grrr….

My lovely daughter, who just turned 18 years old… went out and got a tattoo tonight.

Surprisingly – that’s not the part that upsets me… what upsets me, is that she has been talking about getting one done for the longest time… planned it out… had it created by the tattoo artist, it would have been beautiful.  It held a lot of meaning, was artistic, I trusted the artist who was going to do it and she chose the back of her neck for placement, so she could easily hide it with her hair if she wanted to.  That, I would have been okay with.

So… long story short… she is ‘stuck’ in a different place right now (for reasons I won’t get into tonight) and she spontaneously went out (with the money I had given her for clothes) and decided to ‘drop in’ and get a tattoo of an M behind her ear… with six stars.  M is the initial of her last name.

Thank God she told me over the phone.

I didn’t freak out at her… just sort of said… ‘oh, can’t wait to see it’… that type of thing.

I am speechless.  Just fucking speechless.

And sad.

I can’t stop her from making stupid mistakes anymore.

Mistakes that are going to last a lifetime.

 

 

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Daddy Leaves Marks…

I love when Daddy leaves pretty marks on me….

 

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Daddy has played with knives on me before… but this time… I asked him to cut me. 

I love that it is a week later and I still have red marks on my arm, to remember him by. 

He said we would do it again.  Next time though… I am going to ask him to do it in a place that is easier to hide…

 

 

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Playing with Candles

Playing with Candles

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He had me lay down on my stomach across the bed and told me to keep my eyes closed.  I could hear him at the bottom of the bed… coming around the side.  He started talking about our previous discussion which we had a week or two ago about ‘safe’ BDSM candles.  I had told him I was interested in experimenting with wax but that I had heard that there was a wide variety in types of candles, some burning much hotter than others and that they sold ‘safe’ candles specifically for using on skin.

I jump at the sound of a lighter being struck.  His voice… so strong and loud, my eyes closed as instructed…  “You know I keep you safe.  I would never put you in harm’s way.  This candle isn’t one of those low heat candles that you told me about.  But baby trusts I would never do anything unsafe, right?”  I nod my head and whisper… “Yes Daddy”.

He moves the fabric away from my back.  Several moments pass.  I hear nothing.  My eyes still closed.  I cry out as the wax drips on to my back.  The intensity of the pain is beautiful, within seconds it dissipates.  “Oh, I like how you squirm…”

Again the melted wax drips onto my back… this time as I squirm in a useless attempt to escape the pain, the wax still hot, runs and the pain runs along with it.  Longer lasting this time.  I am falling so deeply into that zone… that deeply submissive state… when I want him to hurt me.

Hurt me more…. hurt me harder…  He creates my craving.

By the third time he drips the wax onto my back – I would gladly do anything for him.  Absolutely anything at all.  Please let me.

 

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Going To See Daddy on Friday

 
Can’t wait to see Daddy this Friday.  It has been way too long since we have seen one another (about 3 and a half weeks or so).  We were suppose to get together last Friday but the weather interfered with our plans.

I took this picture of a poor little tree outside.  I feel like going up and throwing a blanket around him… or at least a scarf!

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I will be sure to write about our day together… he says he has a few surprises for me!  (He usually does!)

I suspect we might be playing with candle wax for the first time together… but we’ll see!  Maybe it will be something entirely different.

 

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Very Inspiring Blogger Award!

I am honoured to accept the Very Inspiring Blogger Award from writingthebody.   I am proud to repeat the kind and touching things he said about my blog:

This is an honest blog about a 40yo woman whose journey has taken her from divorce to the scene I am in.  I admire her honesty and her integrity.  She really is an inspiration.

AND

I have nominated you for the award that really is the best named of all for what you are doing – the very inspiring blogger award.  I re-read your about page before I did this – just thinking about the integrity of what you are doing here. You are a real inspiration, and I so hope you will accept my nomination…

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Guidelines for accepting this award:

1. Create a post and reveal 7 things about yourself.

2. Post the blog award on your site, indicate who nominated you.

3. Present the award to up to 15 bloggers that inspire you and include links to their blogs in your post.

Seven Things About Myself

  1. I have been seeing my Daddy Dom for about six months now.
  2. I have experienced a lot of firsts with him, including:  anal sex, knife play, belt spanking…
  3. I love performing oral sex on him and he is the first man I have ever allowed to ‘finish’ in my mouth.
  4. I crave him hurting me… spanking (hands, belt, brush, cane), knife play etc.
  5. Calling a man ‘Daddy’, use to seriously creep me out before I met him.
  6. I feel incredibly understood sexually by him.
  7. I have never had this level of trust sexually for anyone before (including in my marriage)!

My Nominations

  1. The Life of J-Wo
  2. Prinze Charming
  3. captkitty
  4. I’m not quiet
  5. Surrendered Heart
  6. Blue 88
  7. todanceandtolove
  8. sexandtheshameless
  9. Submissive Musings
  10. The Bedroom Submissive

If any of you haven’t checked out the bloggers above…

I encourage you to!  Each and every one of them, inspire me to write, blog, and/or live better!

Thanks, once again to writingthebody for this award.  (A fantastic blog for all to check out!)

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7 Comments »

Gargie Award!

Gargie Award

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I am honoured to accept the GARGIE Award from writingthebody.  Thank you!

The rules:

1.  Display the award badge on your site.

2.  Publish a post to inform the world of your great achievement.

3.  Nominate 5 fellow bloggers (who have been outstanding in their field or perhaps who you admire).

4.  Indicate to your nominees that they have received the award.

I am happy to nominate the following blogs for this award:

If you haven’t yet checked the above blogs out… take a peek!

Big thank you to writingthebody for presenting me with this award!

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Feeling Lonely

Feeling Lonely

Little GIrl Facing Away

 

Was ‘talking’ to Daddy on Messenger tonight.  It has been a couple of days since we have had much contact.  It is usually about two to two and a half weeks between visits with him and sometimes….   I start feeling a bit disconnected from him.  Tonight, I kind of let him know… but re-thinking this as I am writing – I wasn’t exactly upfront about how I was feeling.  I ended up acting needy.  I feel like I am being needy.  The situation between us… it makes me question sometimes… am I asking too much?  or am I asking too little?  And then I feel guilty because I know that Daddy is doing the best that he can for me under the circumstances.

Yesterday, I was getting a migraine and I can at times get a bit sulky when I do.  I just wanted my Daddy to be there… you know…  And he will never be there like that when I want him or even need him.  In a lot of ways… I am still on my own… even though I consider myself to be “with” Daddy.  This isn’t the first time I have felt like this.  Part of me gets angry at him because he isn’t there for those moments that I wish he could be.  At the same time – it’s not fair to complain to him about it, since there is little he can do about it.  I either need to accept it or decide not to accept it.  So that’s where I sit for now.

I think I really need to write more… express what I am thinking in words… it’s always been a good way for me to sort this stuff out.  For me to see my crazy thoughts and repetition of my crazy thoughts in black and white.   SO… if there are some whiny posts in the next few days… you’ll know why!

LJ feels a little bit mad and a little bit sad.

LJ feels a little bit mad and a little bit sad.

 

 

 

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Happy International Fetish Day

Happy International Fetish Day

Let Your Freak Flag Fly!

 

Fetish Day - Jan 18th

 

Spread The Word!

 

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