Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Seeing Him Tomorrow

Seeing Him Tomorrow

I am going to see Daniel, my Daddy Dom tomorrow.  It is a 2 hour drive there, a 2 hour drive back.  I get to see him for 4 hours.  Worth it to me!  I am bringing books for him to read to me.  I love when he reads to me.  It is one of my very favourite things to do with him.  He wants me to bring all my colouring stuff – I’m not sure why but he wants to see me as I colour.  Interesting.  Here are some of the books I am bringing tomorrow:

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Daniel is bringing the cane he purchased this week.  I can’t wait to feel its sting.  He won’t be actually using it on me tomorrow… he will just be showing it to me.  I can’t wait for it to leave line marks on my skin, maybe even red welts.  I will have to wait till we have some privacy at the cottage next week.  However, I did ask him to bring his knife, so we can use that tomorrow.  I asked if he would make marks on my arms with it and he agreed.  Just thinking of it, turns me on.  Him holding the knife, pressing it into my skin, trailing it along, leaving red, raised, swollen lines… proof he was there… proof that he cares for me.  That might sound weird to those who aren’t involved in BDSM but it’s how I feel and I refuse to hide how it makes me feel ever again.  I will NOT be put back in my self-imposed prison.  Perhaps I will even post pictures of the results, let you all see the beautiful marks he leaves.

I will wear a skirt, pigtails and pretty ribbons or some sort of hair clips or bows because that is the way Daddy likes it.  That is the way I like it.  It helps to make me feel little.  I love being lost in feeling little, with Daddy watching me, protecting me.  He is my tether when I get lost in my ‘little world’.  It allows me to wander, to play, to lose myself… it is a truly precious gift that Daddy gives to me.  Daddy loves watching me, protecting me.  He loves being my strength, my control, my power.  I enjoy giving it to him.  I like releasing myself to him.

I love touching him, when I am in ‘little mode’, knowing he is hard, knowing I have made him hard.  Touching him over his jeans, feeling him.  Perhaps I will worship his cock again in the back seat of my SUV.  I love having him in my mouth.  My tongue running up and down the sides of him, my tongue running under the rim of the head of him, looking up into his eyes, knowing how much it turns him on to see me, with my mouth on his cock, our eyes connect and we really ‘see’ one another.  I love taking him deep into my mouth, far back… the head of his cock touching the back of my throat, feeling him fill my mouth that way… and I know he loves it.  I love moving my hand up and down, as I suck him, taste him, lick him.  I have given head to other men… but never the way I give head to him.  The other men… I did it because they enjoyed it and I didn’t ‘mind’ doing it but it wasn’t something I would say I ‘enjoyed’ doing.  With him – I want to do it.  I want his cock in my mouth.  I want to worship him that way.  I want to feel his warmth inside my mouth.  It feels submissive, it feels good and I love doing it.

(not us!)

 

Can’t wait for tomorrow and can’t wait to share the details with you all when I return.

 

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30 Days of Kink – Day Three

Day 3:  How did you discover you were kinky?

This is a difficult question.  Looking back, even to early childhood, I think there were signs of me being kinky but the question is how did I discover I was kinky.  I would consider the moment when I realized I was truly kinky and that this wasn’t just a fleeting interest, really wasn’t ONE moment at all.  It seemed to happen in stages for me.  It was an awakening and it is still happening.  I was exploring it for months before I really started to accept that this kinky part of me, this side of me that was attracted to all things BDSM – is really part of who I am sexually.  I think I am still in the process of discovering and accepting my kinkyness.

A while ago, my Dom asked me if I thought I had a good grasp on things or if I felt as though this was just the ‘tip’ of things…  I still feel that I have barely entered into this new world of BDSM.  There is so much for me to still explore and to discover.  I feel like this is where I belong, where I should have been long ago.  There have been things that I thought I wasn’t interested in but then discover I am when I find myself reacting sexually to them.

Sometimes discovering my kinks… scares me.  I worry sometimes because I react so strongly to certain things, like my newly discovered interest in ‘knife play’.  I watched a video of a couple engaging in it and it immediately turned me on.  When I talked to my Dom about it and he showed me  a knife and I imagined him playing with me, it was such an intense sexual response… I mean how fucked up is that?  How fucked up is it to get turned on by a man dragging a weapon across my skin?  A knife in the hands of a lover…  It’s more than a little fucked up and sometimes when I think about it, it upsets me.  BUT there is no denying what it does to me.  I love it.

I don’t know if I will ever be done discovering my kinks.  I certainly hope that I will learn to embrace them and accept them because they are a part of who I am.  This path is one I am meant to walk down…  it feels right.  Sometimes it is thrilling, sometimes it is very scary but walk it I will.

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Visit With Daddy

 

Today I got to spend time with Daddy.

We did lots of fun things.  He took me to a Halloween store and we played with the cool stuff… looked at costumes…

Then we went to a sex shop.  We got three new toys to play with next time.

We went lots of other places, had lunch, Daddy bought me three new shades of pink nail polish.

When we went back to his car… he showed me his knife.  The one I have been wanting to see for a while.  He handed it to me, let me look it over… we have talked about wanting to try knife play… he told me to be careful, it was sharp, which only made me curious to see – how sharp.  I wanted him to show me how he could run the blade across my skin… pressing… just before it breaks the skin.  I held my arm out for him… he took the knife… and showed me two different techniques.  The first, he used more of the edge of the blade… it created a red mark but didn’t hurt that much.  The second technique, he used more of the tip of the knife…  that one stung a lot more than the first… it created a red line but thinner than the first one.

Think we are going to have a lot of interesting fun with this….

I loved the feeling of it.  I loved that he did it to me.  No hesitation on my part at all, to have him, put that type of weapon up against my skin and ask him to use it.  I trust him and that’s part of what turns me on so much about knife play.  I can’t wait till we can be alone, in the bedroom next Friday.  He whispered in my ear that he will lie me on my stomach, tie me up… so I will be completely helpless… he will run the knife along my back, over my ass… along my inner leg and when he is done…  he will re-claim me, in the spot that belongs only to him.  I can’t wait.

 

Hard to see in this picture but…                                                  The shorter line was the first technique…                                   the longer line…the second technique.

 

Needless to say… it was a very fun day.

 

 

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