Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

How To Successfully Date A Married Man

Book Review

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How To Successfully Date A Married Man

By Gloria Bonds

My Rating:  3 stars ***

First of all – the title is pretty misleading.  The author, Gloria Bonds is very one-sided and closed-minded with her opinion regarding the morality of dating a married man… AND it is not the side you would assume it to be from the title. 

This book would be fantastic for someone who wants to reinforce their reasons for staying away from married men… or for a woman who has recently left a married man (after having had an affair with him) and is looking to bolster her decision for having done so. 

It seems to me that the author likes to paint everyone – married men, the ‘other woman’ and wives – all with the same brush.  She leaves little acknowledgment for the fact that situations CAN be different and not ALL people are the same.

My Rating System:

0 Stars: Did not finish, was not able to keep my interest enough to bother to continue.

*  1 Star: I didn’t like this book — felt more like homework than reading for pleasure.

**  2 Stars: This book needed something different to make me like it.

***  3 Stars: This book was good. It wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad. I would recommend based on certain tastes.

****  4 Stars: This book was delightful. I’m glad I read it.

*****  5 Stars: I really enjoyed this book. I will probably read it again.

*****+   5+ Stars: A new favorite.

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My Teen Got A Tattoo

 

Grrr….

My lovely daughter, who just turned 18 years old… went out and got a tattoo tonight.

Surprisingly – that’s not the part that upsets me… what upsets me, is that she has been talking about getting one done for the longest time… planned it out… had it created by the tattoo artist, it would have been beautiful.  It held a lot of meaning, was artistic, I trusted the artist who was going to do it and she chose the back of her neck for placement, so she could easily hide it with her hair if she wanted to.  That, I would have been okay with.

So… long story short… she is ‘stuck’ in a different place right now (for reasons I won’t get into tonight) and she spontaneously went out (with the money I had given her for clothes) and decided to ‘drop in’ and get a tattoo of an M behind her ear… with six stars.  M is the initial of her last name.

Thank God she told me over the phone.

I didn’t freak out at her… just sort of said… ‘oh, can’t wait to see it’… that type of thing.

I am speechless.  Just fucking speechless.

And sad.

I can’t stop her from making stupid mistakes anymore.

Mistakes that are going to last a lifetime.

 

 

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An extended visit with Daddy

I am so excited.  I will be spending TWO whole days with Daddy this week.  Usually it’s only one!  I have decided to leave a day earlier, just because there is snow due and I’m worried about getting caught up in the mess of it.  So I’m going in a day early… that way I will be stress free, no chance of the roads closing and messing up our plans!  We will get to spend all Wednesday together and then all of Friday too!

On Thursday, I will shop and entertain myself for the day.  Which will be fun too!

For Daddy, of course

For Daddy, of course

 

Getting away from the current pressures I have at home… will be a nice, revitalizing break as well.  Time for me.  It’s okay – I deserve it.

I plan to bring all my colouring books and doodle pads and crayons, markers, pencil crayons with me.  Might get to do some with Daddy and some when Daddy isn’t around to play too.  This one… I haven’t given to him yet but plan too!  I hope he will like it.  I like the rainbow in it.  I love rainbows and I love unicorns too.  I wish there were a nice way to make white show up in crayons on paper…but it never looks right unfortunately!  So a pink unicorn it is!

Then there is this velvet marker picture…

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Another picture for Daddy.  These velvet pictures are fun and super easy to do.  Colouring takes me and makes me Little.  That glorious place of innocence and vulnerability.  The world goes away and it all becomes about what the best colour choices are.  It’s a wonderful, very zen feeling.

I will be seeing Daddy very soon and I am so desperately looking forward to being little for long stretches of time.  Being under his safe watch… being able to go further on that tether of reality… get lost for longer, for deeper…  One day… might that tether snap?  I’m wondering if it wouldn’t be the worst thing to ever happen to someone.  What do you guys think?

Reality…. the value of it.  What is it’s worth?  Any ideas?

Curious.

 
 

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Daddy Leaves Marks…

I love when Daddy leaves pretty marks on me….

 

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Daddy has played with knives on me before… but this time… I asked him to cut me. 

I love that it is a week later and I still have red marks on my arm, to remember him by. 

He said we would do it again.  Next time though… I am going to ask him to do it in a place that is easier to hide…

 

 

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Playing with Candles

Playing with Candles

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He had me lay down on my stomach across the bed and told me to keep my eyes closed.  I could hear him at the bottom of the bed… coming around the side.  He started talking about our previous discussion which we had a week or two ago about ‘safe’ BDSM candles.  I had told him I was interested in experimenting with wax but that I had heard that there was a wide variety in types of candles, some burning much hotter than others and that they sold ‘safe’ candles specifically for using on skin.

I jump at the sound of a lighter being struck.  His voice… so strong and loud, my eyes closed as instructed…  “You know I keep you safe.  I would never put you in harm’s way.  This candle isn’t one of those low heat candles that you told me about.  But baby trusts I would never do anything unsafe, right?”  I nod my head and whisper… “Yes Daddy”.

He moves the fabric away from my back.  Several moments pass.  I hear nothing.  My eyes still closed.  I cry out as the wax drips on to my back.  The intensity of the pain is beautiful, within seconds it dissipates.  “Oh, I like how you squirm…”

Again the melted wax drips onto my back… this time as I squirm in a useless attempt to escape the pain, the wax still hot, runs and the pain runs along with it.  Longer lasting this time.  I am falling so deeply into that zone… that deeply submissive state… when I want him to hurt me.

Hurt me more…. hurt me harder…  He creates my craving.

By the third time he drips the wax onto my back – I would gladly do anything for him.  Absolutely anything at all.  Please let me.

 

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Giving Him More Control?

I chatted with Daddy on Messenger tonight.  God… just talking to him… I can fall into ‘Little’ mode so easily.  It makes me crave being cuddled beside him, feeling small and tiny, protected and loved.  Him reading a story to me… me helping turn the pages… sinking deeper and deeper… getting lost and feeling that ‘floaty’ type sensation when I am deep in Little mode.  It is so relaxing for me.  So natural feeling.  So good.

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Only two more sleeps and I will be with him.

Tonight… he mentioned that when we get together on Friday, we will be having a little chat.  I of course, asked him what it was about…. and I am surprised he actually told me!  My sleep.

My sleep has been quite erratic lately.  There are nights I have a lot of trouble sleeping at all.  I toss and turn and end up getting very little quality sleep.  Other nights… I have no trouble at all.  When migraines strike, my sleep patterns get totally messed up.  I take my medication and it will often knock me out for six hours… no matter what time of day it might be.  So, it can be difficult to have a regular sleeping schedule due to that.

SO… Daddy wants to talk to me about it.  He wants to help me with it.  Part of me… wants to give that control over to him.  I want him to control my life more.  I want him to tell me what to do – including when I should be going to bed.  Another part of me… feels some resistance to it.  It should be an interesting chat regardless.

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One of the first things he started ‘making me’ do – is take vitamins.  When we chat, he usually asks if I remembered to take them that day… and if I haven’t… he ‘makes me’ go and get them and take them right away while I am chatting with him.  He told me that we will also be having a chat about me missing my vitamins on those days that I did forget.  The thing is…  I don’t really make a point to remember to take my vitamins because I LIKE having him TELL me to take them.  I want him to have to remind me.  I want him to have to tell me to do it.  I’m not sure if he is on to me or not.  Guess I will find that out on Friday too!

I know the ‘control’ that he has over me, is always for my own good.  I know that he does it because he cares for me and loves me.  If I thought his intentions were any different – I wouldn’t give him that control.  Part of me craves that ‘stronger voice’… craves being ‘led’…. craves being controlled.  Does that make me weak?

I want Daddy to tell me what to do.

 

6 Comments »

Going To See Daddy on Friday

 
Can’t wait to see Daddy this Friday.  It has been way too long since we have seen one another (about 3 and a half weeks or so).  We were suppose to get together last Friday but the weather interfered with our plans.

I took this picture of a poor little tree outside.  I feel like going up and throwing a blanket around him… or at least a scarf!

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I will be sure to write about our day together… he says he has a few surprises for me!  (He usually does!)

I suspect we might be playing with candle wax for the first time together… but we’ll see!  Maybe it will be something entirely different.

 

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Very Inspiring Blogger Award!

I am honoured to accept the Very Inspiring Blogger Award from writingthebody.   I am proud to repeat the kind and touching things he said about my blog:

This is an honest blog about a 40yo woman whose journey has taken her from divorce to the scene I am in.  I admire her honesty and her integrity.  She really is an inspiration.

AND

I have nominated you for the award that really is the best named of all for what you are doing – the very inspiring blogger award.  I re-read your about page before I did this – just thinking about the integrity of what you are doing here. You are a real inspiration, and I so hope you will accept my nomination…

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Guidelines for accepting this award:

1. Create a post and reveal 7 things about yourself.

2. Post the blog award on your site, indicate who nominated you.

3. Present the award to up to 15 bloggers that inspire you and include links to their blogs in your post.

Seven Things About Myself

  1. I have been seeing my Daddy Dom for about six months now.
  2. I have experienced a lot of firsts with him, including:  anal sex, knife play, belt spanking…
  3. I love performing oral sex on him and he is the first man I have ever allowed to ‘finish’ in my mouth.
  4. I crave him hurting me… spanking (hands, belt, brush, cane), knife play etc.
  5. Calling a man ‘Daddy’, use to seriously creep me out before I met him.
  6. I feel incredibly understood sexually by him.
  7. I have never had this level of trust sexually for anyone before (including in my marriage)!

My Nominations

  1. The Life of J-Wo
  2. Prinze Charming
  3. captkitty
  4. I’m not quiet
  5. Surrendered Heart
  6. Blue 88
  7. todanceandtolove
  8. sexandtheshameless
  9. Submissive Musings
  10. The Bedroom Submissive

If any of you haven’t checked out the bloggers above…

I encourage you to!  Each and every one of them, inspire me to write, blog, and/or live better!

Thanks, once again to writingthebody for this award.  (A fantastic blog for all to check out!)

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7 Comments »

Gargie Award!

Gargie Award

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I am honoured to accept the GARGIE Award from writingthebody.  Thank you!

The rules:

1.  Display the award badge on your site.

2.  Publish a post to inform the world of your great achievement.

3.  Nominate 5 fellow bloggers (who have been outstanding in their field or perhaps who you admire).

4.  Indicate to your nominees that they have received the award.

I am happy to nominate the following blogs for this award:

If you haven’t yet checked the above blogs out… take a peek!

Big thank you to writingthebody for presenting me with this award!

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3 Comments »

Every Cloud

Every Cloud

 

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I bought this when Daddy and I went to the cottage together.  I finally hung it up on my wall today.  I originally purchased it to remind me… that when I am looking at the cons and focusing on them, I need to remind myself of the flip side… I need to remind myself of the pros.

There is always something good in the bad and something bad in the good.

I want it all.  Most do.  But sometimes in the scrambling to gather it all… you lose what you were already holding.

Accept what is.

Appreciate what is.

I am responsible for my own happiness.

I am learning as I grow.

 

 

 

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