Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Tuesday Threesome Day!

Got to love it!  Tuesday Threesome Day!

Come on… Let’s PLAY!

ONE…

Totti-bdsm--sexy-couples--Couples--Love_large

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Tuesday Threesome Day

Got to love Tuesday threesome day!

One…

erotic13

Two…

Cock Worship

Three…

Pics8

Come on… Want to play?

Tuesday’s Threesome……

Post a hot threesome image or three of your favorite D/s images…

Started by:  The Bedroom Submissive

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Reconnected but confused

Reconnected… for now

The last time I blogged about my relationship, (Click to view post) I was feeling very disconnected from my Dom.  I was due to see him the next day and was feeling a lot of anxiety around how I was feeling.

Well, in he walked… coffees in hand and the ‘toy bag’ in the other.  I felt shy and disconnected from him.  I think what we SHOULD have done – was sat down and discussed that before proceeding with anything else but that’s not what happened.

Soon enough… I was starting to reconnect with him but I don’t think, even by the end of the day, that I felt like I was fully re-engaged with him.  I loved spending time with him… I always do but when I left that day… I was feeling sad, hurt, lost and shaky.  I know that I really need to explore my feelings about this, something I am not great at.

I am getting together with him again this Friday.  We will be spending the day together, as we usually do.  I think that he has recognized that there is an issue though.  He suggested a few dates of possible times to get together and it is noticeably more often than it usually is.

I know his intentions are good but I wonder if he truly has the time needed to be the Daddy Dom, I want and need him to be.  I guess, time will tell.

 

 

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Feeling More Than A Little Neurotic…

Can someone throw me some clonazepam?  diazepam?

I think I need a couple.

Tomorrow I am seeing Daddy.  This is usually my super excited… waiting in anticipation… giddy with excitement time.

Not tonight.  I feel confused and sad and a little worried about tomorrow.

Daddy has had a super busy time lately and we haven’t had our usual chats over MSN or by text.

I’m feeling a bit disconnected from him.

So… we were texting tonight… and I had a feeling it was going to be another one of those really short convo’s, that we have usually been having lately.  Not really a convo… more of a touch base, say hey, that sort of thing.  No real deep connecting.

So… I told him how I was feeling.  This is a new pattern for me.  Usually I would never have said anything and just ignored how I was feeling.

When I did tell him… as soon as the words were sent out… I immediately felt guilty.  I know he’s been having a busy, busy few weeks.  I know he has lots of stuff on the go and he’s trying hard to do so many things…

On the flip side though… I am worried that he’s starting to take advantage of things.  Putting me as not so much a priority as before.

I already take second place by default.

Am I now, falling further and further down the list?

Does he think I will be okay with that?  Does he think he gets to have me, without making an effort?

I don’t know what’s going on in my head.  I don’t know the real reasons behind these feelings that are surfacing.

What I need to do is fucking journal about it… but I left my journal at home… which is one reason why I’m writing all this on here!

My auto default is to run.  Ignore.  Pretend it isn’t happening.  Three choices.  That’s what my mind automatically falls to.

Run.

Ignore.

Pretend it’s not happening.

Trying to figure out new choices.

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Candid Photography – Waiting For Her

Waiting For Her

Photo by Growing Up Little

Photo by Growing Up Little

I was waiting in my car… when I noticed him…

Far up on the third floor…

Red shirt catching my eye…

He kept coming to the window… staring out… hands  on the ledge… just watching.

His view always in the same direction.

He would walk away for a few moments… perhaps 60 seconds or less… then he was back.

Same pose.  Same hands on the ledge… same view of direction….

Again, he walks away.  Moments pass… several moments.

A cat jumps up on the window sill and takes watch.

Several minutes pass.

The cat leaves but he returns.

Standing.  Watching.

Waiting for her.

She never comes.

 

 

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10 Day Challenge – Day Nine

Day Nine

Two images that describe your life right now and why.

 

Little me lights

Wow… look at this picture I found on Google images.  This is a great representation of what has been going on with me in the last little while.

My inner Little, discovering her and letting her shine and come out of the darkness.

Daddy there… in the background… watching but allowing me space to learn and grow on my own too, while watching to ensure that I’m safe.

Daddy is sort of there… but not.  Not always immediately available.  On the outskirts…  Most of the time being more than an arms length away.

Great representation of what is going on with me right now!  I’m so glad I found it!

 

 

 

 

free This picture represents my sense on inner freedom that I have been earning for myself lately.  The more I explore… the more I come to accept myself and what I want… the more I learn to set boundaries in a healthy way… the more joy I feel inside.  It is hard to explain how much inner freedom I am gaining, by allowing my sexuality to express itself in the way it has always wanted to.  I’ve done a lot of work in the last year.  I’m proud with how far I have come.  Bubbles are so joy inducing for me!

 

 

 

 

 

WANT TO PLAY?

If you do…

You can opt to go back to Day One of the Challenge

OR just do today’s challenge if you like!

Write your own post and then place a link to it in the comments section below…

That way – everybody else can check it out too! 

Thanks for playing and remember… come back for Day Ten!

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10 Day Challenge – Day Eight

Day Eight

List three turn-ons.

  1. Enthusiasm for life.
  2. Ability to communicate and listen well.
  3. Good sense of humour.

WANT TO PLAY?

If you do…

You can opt to go back to Day One of the Challenge

OR just do today’s challenge if you like!

Write your own post and then place a link to it in the comments section below…

That way – everybody else can check it out too! 

Thanks for playing and remember… come back for Day Nine!

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10 Day Challenge – Day Five

Day Five

Six things you wish you’d never done.

Okay… this is a hard one.  First of all, I believe everything happens for a reason.  So… it is hard to ‘wish’ that something I did, didn’t happen because I don’t know how that would ultimately affect the rest of my life and if that result would actually be a better thing or not.  With that said… the six things listed below are things that I would classify as ‘negative or conflicting things I have done’ that have caused me to wonder how things might have turned out, if I hadn’t done them.

  1. Married my ex-husband.
  2. Been promiscuous as a teenager.
  3. Terminated a pregnancy when I was 17.
  4. Become addicted to prescription medications.
  5. Continued to communicate with my ex-husband for as long as I did.
  6.  Not gone ahead with a restraining order against my ex-husband.

 

WANT TO PLAY?

If you do…

You can opt to go back to Day One of the Challenge

OR just do today’s challenge if you like!

Write your own post and then place a link to it in the comments section below…

That way – everybody else can check it out too! 

Thanks for playing and remember… come back for Day Six!

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The ‘Other Woman’… always the evil one?

I was browsing blogs the other day and stumbled upon a blog that belongs to a woman whose husband had an affair.  In one of her posts… the ‘other woman’ was described in a negative light.  Which got me thinking…  (disclaimer!  the thoughts below are MY thoughts that I had after reading her post, I am in no way attributing the words below as being hers…)

  • Is it truly fair that people tend to lump the ‘other woman’ into one category?
  • Is it fair to assume that the ‘other woman’ MUST be a husband stealing, awful, lying bitch?
  • Is it fair to think that once a woman becomes the ‘other woman’… she can never again be truly trusted?
  • Is it true that a woman is more responsible for having an affair than a man is (even if she is the one who is single, she is the one who didn’t betray vows made etc…) – simply because she is a woman and doesn’t tend to be led by sexual urges?
  • Do people tend to blame the ‘other woman’, more than the man?  If so, why?
  • Are there any circumstances where being the ‘other woman’ can actually improve someone else’s marriage, even though the wife may be unaware of the true reason why?
  • If a single friend of yours… revealed to you that she was having an affair with a married man – would that change your opinion of her in a negative way?

Curious minds… want to know!!!

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Daddy Coming in 10 Hours!

Daddy Coming in 10 Hours!

We are celebrating his birthday!  So I have decorated!  Even got him some helium balloons!

Balloons!

 

I bought a nice round carrot cake (his favourite) and those big individual candle numbers for him to blow out and make a wish!

I also put up a Pin The Tail on the Donkey – I don’t think we have any use for the blindfold that came with that game!  We have a MUCH better one we can use!

Wonder What The Winner Will Get!

Wonder what the winner will get?

Even Trax got a new dress shirt for the occasion!

Trax ready to party!

So now… all I need is Daddy!

Just Daddy is Missing!

 

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