Growing Up Little

A woman exploring the world of BDSM and sharing what she discovers…

Still bleeding…

on March 7, 2015

Coming up with the title for this entry… I initially wanted to title it:  Starting to Heal but realized that’s not quite true.  I don’t think I have started to heal from what happened with him (I can no longer refer to him as a Daddy Dom cause he certainly isn’t).

It has been just over two months and I don’t feel like I have truly faced everything that happened, the betrayal, the lies, the dishonesty, the misrepresentation… I could go on.  I’m not sure how to handle it, how to start healing from it.

I think I’ve tried to put a Band-Aid on it by getting involved with someone else.  That seemed to work at first, until things became closer and I panicked.  I got involved with Dave and he wanted a commitment too fast.  I’m not ready to be in a committed relationship with someone right now… but it’s nice feeling wanted and to not be lonely, if only for a little while.  I’m confused.  I feel overwhelmed.  I’ve explained to Dave how I’m feeling and he gets it.  I’ve asked for things to slow way down with us and he seems to have done that.  He knows I need my space and time.  Not that we have cut off all contact or anything.  He still texts me once a day and we are planning on getting together tomorrow, just for dinner.  If he can be patient with me… it might eventually work out but if he can’t, I’m afraid that will mean the end.

How does one start to heal after being betrayed so badly?

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4 responses to “Still bleeding…

  1. dave s says:

    Surround yourself with friends. Realize he manipulated you If you knew he was married then you also knew he was a liar and a good one. Don’t blame yourself. But perhaps think about why you chose a man who was a liar. Not to be mean but it might help you from repeating it
    you are young Daddies should know this and realize that littles are super honest people.
    if you could find some healthy ddlg friends that could help you build support
    My bunnies friends know that I’m not tbier daddy but I watch out for them and can be there to talk to. I wish you all the best. Remember submission has to be earned and respected. Xxoo

    • Miss J says:

      It is true. I always knew in the back of my mind… that he knew how to lie and how to lie well. I was stupid to think he wasn’t doing the same thing to me. I thought he loved and cared about me so much… I thought he didn’t need to lie to me because he could be open with me. That obviously wasn’t the case. A liar is a liar, I suppose. A cheater, is a cheater. I do need to take some ownership in my part of allowing him to continue to deceive his wife… he manipulated me and I became an accomplice for him.

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